A Spidey Fanfic
by Spideyforlife
Summary: Felicia Hardy, your famous Black Cat, notices Peter Parker staring at Gwen Stacy's grave. Fury and the Avengers wanna chat with Spidey. The very stubborn X-Men think Spider-Man is a mutant. There's a new villain in town. Red Team(Spider-Man, Deadpool, Daredevil) is AMAZIN'. Set after TASM2, CA:WS, AVENGERS:AGE OF ULTRON. and yes, Peter works for JJJ. p.s. I have this in wattpad
1. SHE SAW HIM AT THE CEMETERY

_**HI GUYS! JUST WANNA LET YAH KNOW THAT SADLY I DO NOT OWN MARVEL OR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS OTHER THAN YOUR REGULAR THEIVES AND NO NAMERS... AND OF COURSE THE STORY TOO. IF I DID OWN MARVEL, LETS JUST SAY HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE...**_

 _ **SUMMARY:Felicia Hardy, your famous Black Cat, notices Peter Parker staring at Gwen Stacy's grave. Fury and the Avengers wanna chat with Spidey. The very stubborn X-Men think Spider-Man is a mutant. There's a new villain in town. Red Team(Spider-Man, Deadpool, Daredevil) is AMAZIN'. Set after TASM2, CA:WS, AVENGERS:AGE OF ULTRON. and yes, Peter works for JJJ. p.s. this is my first MARVEL fic so yeah... and I also have this story on wattpad... username is Luxora Gast over there**_

 _ **BTW: ITALICS MEAN THOUGHTS OR A TINY INTRO/OPENING**_

 _ **ALSO, WHEN I PUT IN BLOOPERS I DON'T MEAN FOR THE ACTORS BUT MORE FOR THE CHARACTERS IF YA'LL KNOW WHAT M' SAYIN... OH AND BLOOPS HAPPEN EVERY 5 CHAPTERS :P**_

 _ **OKAY LETS GET STARTED PEEPS!**_ __

* * *

 _ **CHAPTER 1: SEE SAW HIM AT THE CEMETERY**_

 _The first time she'd seen Peter, Felicia was taking a stroll around town._

Felicia Hardy, aka the beautiful cat burglar known as Black Cat, was walking back home from the mall carrying bags full of new clothes. She smirked noticing the many eyes lingering on her tight booty shorts and Spider-Man crop top that was barely able to contain her large breasts which bounced with each high heeled step she took.

Yes, let it be known that your favorite thief was head over heels for your favorite vigilante. Felicia always wanted to meet him, but the night she got her gadgets was also the night the masked vigilante disappeared after the battle against Harry Osborn, aka the Goblin. Since his little disappearing act, Felicia chose a life of crime in hopes of drawing out her idol.

Felicia stopped walking and turned to look at the cemetery where her father was buried. Moving the platinum blond hair from her face, her green eyes scanned the graves and landed on one skinny figure. He was a tall male looking a little older than Felicia, with messy brown hair and a face that reminded herself of a lost puppy. It made her wonder how long it's been since this man last smiled.

Just then, his eyes widened as he scanned the area and stopped at the sight of a running man. A few seconds after that, an alarm went off and the man looked conflicted for a second before returning to the grave. Felicia stared at him for a while before returning to her walk home.

That night, Felicia stayed up wondering how the man was able to see the thief before she or anyone else had. Not coming up with any answers, she dismissed it as a coincidence.

After that day, Felicia couldn't help but glance at him every time she passed him, whether he was in the cemetery or walking someplace else. This went on for almost a year.

* * *

 _Why am I doing thi_ s? Felicia didn't know why, she just felt like it. Currently, she was leaning on the fences of the cemetery, pretending to text, while giving occasional glances to the man watching the same grave. _I feel like a freak staring at someone I don't even know._

Felicia heard a few small steps stopping next to her. She heard a sigh but kept her eyes on the phone.

"It really pains me to see him in such an awful state." Felicia turned her head to see a frail old lady who looked like she could break any minute now. She took a deep breath and smiled. "Used to make everyone happy before... this." Her voice seemed to waver at the end.

"Who?" Felicia knew exactly who the lady spoke about. She gave a light chuckle.

"Oh come on dear, I know a woman in love when I see one." Felicia blushed.

"I can't help but notice though. He looked like-like some-"

"Like some lost puppy? I know. Poor thing. Peter's such a nice man. Oh where are my manners?" She held her skinny hand out. "May Parker. Please call me May. Peter is my nephew."

"Felicia Hardy. What happened to his parents?"

"Peter's parents died when he was seven or eight, I can't remember how young he was. It was a plane crash."

"Is he visiting them right now?" Felicia didn't mean to pry, but she was curious, and it seemed like May needed someone to talk to.

"No, never found the bodies. Gwen Stacy. That's who he visits every day. It's like she knew more about Peter than he did himself. She's the only one who understood him so well. And when she died because of the Goblin, who used to be Peter's best friend before... whatever he is now, he was devastated. Barely came outside unless he was told to, always rode his skateboard to Gwen's grave, Spider-Man stopped appearing, Peter blames himself for all the losses. Heck, he may have stopped getting beat up on the outside, but it never stopped him from beating himself up on the inside." This confused Felicia.

"Peter got beat up?" May took a shaky breath.

"Yes, he used to get bullied in high school. He'd come home with a busted up face and a bruised eye and then tell me he fell off his board..." May stopped, seeming deep in thought, then brightening up as an idea popped into her head. "You should talk to him!"

"W-what?"

"Peter needs someone new in his life. Someone he can trust that he knows can take care of themself. Felicia, he worries too much about me that he feels he shouldn't talk to me about his problems. He thinks I'll start worrying to much about him but he doesn't know that not telling me makes me worry more. I know you like him, give him time and he'll begin to like you back. Please do it."  
"I um, I guess I could try." Mays mood brightened up and she leaned in for a hug.

"Oh thank you hun! Please call me whenever you want to talk."

"Wait, I don't know what to say."

"Just, ask if he could take a photo of you or something. It's his hobby really. He even takes photos for the Daily Bugle, though I'd prefer he'd work someplace other than with ." The two exchanged numbers and went their separate ways.

* * *

Later that week, May called Felicia to tell her that she'd sent Peter to get some eggs and that if she wanted to make a move she'd better start following. That brings her to where she is now, which happens to be following Peter.

Felicia followed Peter as he walked into the store without him noticing her presence. She wasn't stalking him, just...seeing what he was up too...while figuring out a way for him to notice her... _I feel like an idiot. I've never even been here!_

When Peter turned to look behind him, Felicia immediately sprinted behind the nearest idle, grabbing whatever she could find that wouldn't make her seem suspicious of sneaking up on a teenage boy. However that didn't seem to do much considering she'd grabbed panties. _What kind of store is this?_ Lucky for her, the only other person in the isle happened to be a tattooed and wrinkly old woman with a basket full of chips, ice cream, and condoms. _Seriously?_

Felicia watched Peter leave with the eggs and was about to leave herself when the lady pushed something into her arms. She looked down and saw red lipstick and a pack of condoms.

"Go get him tiger." She said. Felicia mentally facepalmed before placing the stuff down and running after and past Peter.

Felicia waited around a corner for the right moment before seeing Peter. She sexually walked towards Peter (as if wanting to pass him) like she owned New York, swishing her platinum blond hair and licking her full lips. Felicia pulled her lips to a smirk while hungrily skimming her green eyes around the crowd to eventually land on Peter. She made sure to add a little bounce to her steps and straighten her back so her white skinny-jeans tightened around her ass, and secretly pulled her Easter-yellow tank top dangerously lower than it should be.

This alone could attract any man's heart. Yes, it took every man's attention, well, all except for Peter, who pushed past her and the crowd mumbling simple apologies. Felicia felt embarrassed. **_HE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE ME!_**

* * *

 _ **MKAY SO IM SURE I'LL BE UPDATING SOON AND I THANK U FOR READING AND PLZ COMMENT IF U WANNA. AND THERE WILL BE RED TEAM RANDOMNESS(EXTRA CHAPTERS) FROM TIME TO TIME! TOODLES!**_


	2. HEY HEY U U I DONT LIKE UR GIRLFRIEND!

_**HEY GUYS! THANKS FOR ALL OF U WHO READ AND/OR FOLLOWED OR FAVORITED THIS STORY! I HOPE U ENJOY THIS NEXT CHAPTER JUST AS I ENJOYED WRITING IT!**_

 _ **BTW, YA'LL CAN RECOGNIZE ME BY MY NICKNAME, LUXY. IT'S WHAT ALL MY FRIENDS CALL ME**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER: ~ _~ SADLY I DO NOT OWN MARVEL *SNIFF SNIFF***_

 _ **MKAY YA'LL LETTUCE START ;D**_

 _ **LALALALA LINE BREAK**_

 _ **CHAPTER 2: HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!**_

 _ **NO ONE'S P.O.V.**_

Felicia took a moment to regain her posture after her little show before running towards Peter, who, with his tall figure, was easily spotted amongst the crowd.

"Peter! Hey Peter!... PETER BENJAMIN PARKER! I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING PLEASE!" Peter froze, remembering how Gwen used to call him out in the same tone. He took a few breaths to control himself until a beautiful girl with platinum blond hair ran up to him with a smile and large green eyes. _It is completely official; Peter Parker is hallucinating with Gwen Stacy syndrome._

However, as Peter took a better look, only then did he notice how different these two blonds actually looked. While Gwen had a petite and professional look with thin legs and small busts, this girl was the exact opposite. Felicia looked like the whole package, there were no parts of her body that hadn't shown feminism, with smooth long legs included with a large bubble butt and breasts that **screamed** 'look but don't touch'. Gwen's green eyes were a bit more hazel, with paler skin, thin pink lips, and small freckles. _Not to mention a_ _ **VERY**_ _determined attitude._ Felicia had bright green eyes, a slightly tanned body, full rose-colored lips, and a mischievous look radiating from her as she stopped in front of Peter.

"Hey there, name's Felicia Hardy. And of course, you are Peter Parker." Felicia stated, extending her hand as Peter eyed her suspiciously.

"How? How'd you know that? I haven't even met you- am I supposed to know you?" Felicia almost laughed at Peter's reaction, but decided against it.

"Yeah about that, I like your photos in the Daily Bugle, you really have an artist's eye. Would you mind taking a few pictures of me sometime?" She asked, fluttering her eyes and letting on her innocent smile, "I swear it isn't for anyone, just me, that's all."

Peter replied with an unsure shrug while shaking his head a bit, he looked down contemplating whether or not he should do it, but sighed in defeat. "I uh-Yeah, yeah, sure. I think I can do that."

Little did the two know that while they were discussing the picture date, a certain Merc with a Mouth and a blind vigilante had their **eyes** on them ( _ **HA! SEE WHAT I DID THERE! OH IM DYING! YOU KNOW, CUZ DD IS BLIND, AND I SAID EYES HEHEH!**_ ) as they stood at the top of a fairly tall and abandoned building.

"IF I WERE A RICH GIRL! NANANANANANANANANA—"

"-Deadpool—"

"-NANANANANANAAAAA! SEE I'D HAVE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD!—"

"-Deadpool—"

"—IF I WAS A WEALTHY GIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRLLLLLL!—"

"DEADPOOL. YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU, BEING A MERCINARY, ARE PLENTY RICH AS YOU ARE OBNOXIOUS." Deadpool's frown showed through his mask at the tone of his only buddy.

|He makes a point you know. All your singing is giving us a head ache. Right?|

~Yeah I'll have to agree with red and D.D. on this one, sorry.~

"HEY! ONE, MY SINGING IS BETTER THAN BEYONCE! TWO, YOU GUYS ARE IN MY HEAD, YOU CAN NOT HAVE YOUR OWN HEAD ACHES! THIRD AND FINALLY RED, D.D. IS A BITCH SO EVERYTHING IS OBNOXIOUS TO HIM."

"What was that?" Daredevil asked, glaring daggers through Deadpool's skull even with his blindness. Of course, with his enhanced senses, here could hear him as clearly as he heard everything else.

"Nothin' ! Just the boxes, you know the drill!"

~I don't think he 'knows the drill'.~

|Yeah, but he's still cooler than us. I admit, the fact that we've run into someone like him was simply 'EN **VISION** ABLE'. I mean seriously, we know a deaf guy with good eyes, a blind guy with good senses, who knows, maybe we'll meet someone without a mouth for a change.|

Daredevil stopped glaring as he noticed something wrong with D.P.

"Is something wro—"

" **PFFT, PFFFFFFHEHE,** " Deadpool fell to the ground and kicked his legs up and down, " **PFFFFFFFFFFTTHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! OOOOOOHHHHHHHH.** Wait a minute," He stopped laughing, got up and started walking towards the edge of the building, peering down at the civilians walking by," my _looovvvvee_ senses are tingling."

Deadpool stared at a sexy blond woman with boobs that reminded him of his undying love for chimichangas and tacos. She scanned every man out there except for one, who he deemed as the woman's secret crush. And boy did Deadpool almost crack up when the boy was completely oblivious to her mating call, almost. Of course, Deadpool knew what it was like to be rejected by someone a lot, but he guessed it was this girl's first time. Daredevil, could feel it too, he could feel her feelings for this boy. However, this touching little paragraph must come to an end.

|Thanks a lot D.P., you helped yourself realize how lonely we all are.|

~\cries\~

"D.D.!" Deadpool cried in excitement, jumping at Daredevils feet.

"What?!"

"WE NEED A NEW MEMBER! SOMEONE WHO CAN BRING US TOGETHER! LET'S ADOPT—"

"FUCK NO. We are in no way dating, and I do not want to explain to my friends and family why I have to take care of a kid and who the 'lady is' that made me do it." The mercenary smirked under his masked face at his pal's assumption and decided to play along.

"OH, LISTEN TO ME JEORGE! OUR LOVE CANNOT *pfft* GO FURTHER *HEHE* UNLESS WE HAVE A BROTHER!"

|Okay.|

~Okay.~

"Okay… what do you mean? Cause I don't follow."

"Of course you don't follow! You independent son of a bitch."

"Tell me."

"Right, right, okay so I's been thinkin' that you's and I be in some sorta' brotherly like team yah know what I'm sayin'?" Deadpool asked with wiggly eyebrows.

"Nobody's known what you've been saying since you started talking like that and taking Japanese classes."

 _FLASHBACK__

 _Deadpool runs up to mayor of Tokyo wearing a Hatsune Mikune (sorry if I spelled it wrong… didn't bother to check…) costume, Daredevil trailing behind, and a microphone._

 _Deadpool: HAJIMEMASHITE! WATASHI WA DEADPOOL DESU! KARE WA DAREDEVIL DESU! (NICE TO MEET YOU! I AM DEADPOOL! HE IS DAREDEVIL!) WATASHI WA KOROSHIMASU GA SUKI DESU! SAYONARA SUCKAAAAA! (I LIKE KILLING! GOODBYE SUCKAAAAA!)_

 _Deadpool attempts to jump at the mayor until Daredevil jumps at him and knocks him unconscious with his billy club. He walks towards the mayor._

" _I am sorry but I do not speak Japanese, I was sent to keep an…eye on him. I hope you can forgive his actions and just tell the civilians that you were almost killed by a ninja until a samurai saved you from near death." The mayor nervously nods and Daredevil leaves dragging Deadpool's unconscious body onto Deadpool's private jet (stolen from your one and only… Tony Stark)_

 _PRESENT TIME__

"It doesn't really make sense, why take Japanese classes so you could greet a man you were about to kill?" Daredevil asked annoyance clear in his voice.

"You're just jealous that it makes me more likely to be a video game making ninja! And cuz google translate sucks."

|Sucks what?|

~hehehe!~

"EEEEEEEEEWWW! WHY YOU GOTTA MAKE LIFE SO PERVERTED FOR ME BOXES?!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about but I'll assume it's the voices in your head."

"ANYWAAAAYYYS… TO CONTINUE WHERE I WAS SO RUDLEY INTERRUPTED. WE NEED A NEW MEMBER! SOMEONE WHO WEARS RED AND IS CRAZY ENOUGH TO ACCEPT THE RED TEAM BROTHERHOOD!" Daredevil nearly chocked.

"Brotherhood?! What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well you see my young padawan, **YOU** are the mature and snappy brother, and **I** am the crazy and really fun brother! We need a third child to make me either the middle child or the younger child! He needs to be smart… oh oh! And you can't forget the red! LET US SPEAK WITH THE MAN OF IRON!"

|Wow… that sounds pretty awesome when you say it out loud.|

~Is that why The Mighty Thor does it?~

"Oh please, Thor wouldn't know awesome even if the Hulk smacked it into his godly face! So, what do you think D.D.? Third member?"

"Whatever you say." Deadpool was ready to argue but stopped, realizing what Daredevil just said.

|did he just agree with you?|

~*faints*~

"OH JOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY! I FINALLY FEEL THE LOOOOOVVVVVVEEE!"

 _ **MEANWHILE WITH MISS FELICIA_**_

 _ **A/N: OKAY SO IMMA MAKE FELICIA REALLY RICH AND LIVES WITH HER MOM, BUT SOMETIMES RENTS HER OWN APARTMENT ROOMS TO GET AWAY FROM LIFE IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.**_

Felicia practically sprinted home after talking with Peter, who had accepted her picture offer. Saying she liked his photos wasn't so much of a lie considering that she'd seen his photos and had immediately taken a liking to them. _Well, now we have_ _a story of a model and her photographer._ Felicia smirked at the thought as she ran into her home ( _ **more like a freaking mansion if I got a say in any of this lol-luxy**_ ) and to her bed room in less than three minutes before jumping towards her closet in search for a good outfit.

Felicia chose a floral tube-top, a beige cardigan, high-waisted jean shorts, and cute black hat with her blond hair curled to perfection. Her long brown boots fit tightly up till a bit above her knees and she smiled before grabbing her rose-colored purse, walking out of the house after saying goodbye to a few of her maids, who smiled back in return.

 _ **PARKER LUCK NEVER HELPED OUT … SO LETS SEE HOW PETER IS …**_

Peter walked into Aunt May's house after deciding to meet Felicia at Central Park. As soon as he stepped on the front porch he was flooded with questions such as "how was your day Peter?" or "did you, meet anyone new today?" which was kinda freaky since he had met someone.

"Actually, I did meet someone named Felicia who asked me to take a few pictures of her at Central Park." Aunt May's eyes brightened up at this.

"Peter, that's great! You should spend more time and get to know each other! You know, have fun, laugh, fondue, whatever you teenagers do nowadays!" She said, waving her hand dismissively as the two walked inside. Peter snorted.

"Aunt May, I don't think anyone says fondue anymore." He said, trying to hold his laughter.

 _ **IN THE AVENGERS TOWER_**_

"Ahem, uh, so… do you two, you know… fondue?"

Captain America, or Steve Rodgers, sat uncomfortably, aiming his question to Bruce and Natasha as he watched Tony and Pepper make out on the counter, and Clint angrily shooting arrows because of the fact that Natasha's attention was being dragged away by our resident wet blanket, Doctor Bruce Banner, who was currently in a loving chat with Nat at the moment.

Tony was the first to bust out laughing and Clint mumbled something along the lines of 'better not'. Then Fury called saying something like 'GET YOUR LOUSY ASSES UP HERE. AND TONY STARK, NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU MAKING OUT WITH A GINGER!"

 _ **A/N: OKAY SO I KNOW FURY HAS A FAKED DEATH AND ALL IN THE MOVIES BUT I JUST FIGURED I WANTED TO KEEP HIM SOOOOO….YEAH….. AND I KINDA WANT TO KEEP PIETRO MAXIMOFF ALIVE TOO CUZ HE COULD'VE LIVED AND STUFF… OKAY BYE.**_

 _ **NO ONES P.O.V._**_

Peter waited patiently for Felicia as he started messing with his camera, taking a few pictures of the beautiful scenery. One couple had noticed his photo skills and asked him to take a picture for them; the couple reminded him of Gwen and his relation, not being able to stand apart even with their differences. When the two offered payment, Peter just smiled and waved it off saying it was free for such a cute pair.

When Felicia finally arrived wearing something twice the cost of Peter's clothes there was only one word to describe her, absolutely fucking gorgeous. Peter stuttered.

"You- uh, you look great." Felicia flashed a perfect and full smile.

"Thanks!" Felicia scanned Peter up and down, "You look nice too." She smirked.

"Heh, yeah right haha I can hear the sarcasm in your voice." Felicia bust out laughing as his doubt.

"Is it that obvious? But really, I think you'd look fine in anything!" As soon as Felicia finished the end of the sentence, Peter snapped a photo, causing her to jump.

"What was that for? I probably look hideous!" She stated, still giggling. Peter shook his head.

"Sometimes the unplanned pictures are the best. And besides, this just proves my theory that you'll look good in any picture!" Peter smiled, both people realizing he hadn't done that in a while.

"You should smile more. It would make everyone happy that way."

"… Yeah? That's probably right, but I have my reasons. Anyways, we gonna take the pictures?" Felicia nodded and the two started taking pictures.

 _ **SOME TIME LATER IN FELICIA'S P.O.V. AND HOUSE….**_

Felicia frowned as she ran up to her room and collapsed on her king-sized bed. She had tried to kiss Peter. _**Right in front of Gwen's grave.**_

 _ **FLASHBACK_**_

 _After the two had taken the pictures, they decided to spend some time together. The pair practically walked all over New York, running around malls and going to every pizza place around the corner in order to find out which one really was_ _ **the best pizza in New York**_ _, and finding out whether Chinatown was better than Little Italy or not. They ended up choosing Shawarma and Philly Cheese Stakes for all the answers. They went into the M &M's store and practically bought whatever they could find, finishing them up in minutes. By the end of the day, they visited the cemetery._

 _Why did it have to rain as soon as they went to visit Gwen's grave? Felicia didn't know, and for the moment, she didn't care._

 _Peter was looking down on the ground right under Gwen's grave, the rain pouring on his and Felicia's heads. Felicia knew someone lost when she saw one, and right now, Peter was more than lost. So she did what she did best, catch a man's attention. You could hear a faint sludge of mud on shoes as Felicia stepped in front of Peter, her long legs blocking his view of the wet and slippery gravestone._

" _Peter," she lifted his chin so she was able to make eye contact with him, "you spent too much time focusing on what should be behind you, knowing it won't get you anywhere else. Maybe it's time," she leaned in forward while bringing closer and whispered into his ear, "that you started focusing on what's in front of you."_

 _Felicia came closer to his mouth with every passing second. Instantly she became aware of everything around the two, the rain splattering loudly with each landing, the birds trying to find shelter, the rose petals being blown around by the wind… and as she came so close that she almost touched his lips, things began to fade, her breath became hotter each wasted second. She was so close. Peter pulled away, looking ashamed. And as for Felicia, you can't imagine how she could have felt._

" _P-Peter what's wrong?" She asked._

 _Peter started shaking his head, eyes looking away from her. "Doesn't feel right. This, just, I can't do_ _ **this.**_ _I mean, we never officially broke up, and, this is her_ _ **grave.**_ _" He stated, looking more disappointed in himself than in Felicia. She nodded understandingly._

" _That's okay, I get it. So I guess I'll see you around some time. Bye Peter." And with that, she left Peter as he looked down on the grass. Felicia knew that she and him both regretted this decision, but they'll move on eventually._

 _ **PRESENT TIME-**_

Felicia closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

 _Hey, hey_

 _You you_

 _I don't like your girlfriend!_

When she opened them she saw Peter and made a beeline towards him.

 _No way, no way_

 _I think you need a new one!_

 _Hey, hey_

 _You, you_

 _I could be your girlfriend!_

Felicia jumps towards Peter as he slowly turns around, eyes growing wide as he spots Felicia and sprints.

 _Hey, hey_

 _You, you_

 _I know that you like me!_

Peter runs down the road so fast with Felicia following behind that he passes Forest Gump, who shouts, "RUN PETER, RUN!"

 _No way, no way_

 _No, it's not a secret!_

Peter trips in front of Gwen and Felicia starts dragging him by the legs.

 _Hey, hey_

 _You, you_

 _I want to be your girlfriend!_

Gwen grabs Peter by the war and the two go tug-a-war style. Gwen pulls back so hard and Peter, who instantly runs behind Gwen, is now out of Felicia's grasp.

 _No way, no way_

Gwen walks up to Felicia. She punches her in the face.

 _Hey, hey!_

Felicia freaks out and instantly bolts up from her bed, waking up from her 'horrible nightmare'. She grimaces. _Gwen Stacy you son of a_

 _ **A/N: AND THAT WRAPS THINGS UP FOR NOW! I HOPE YOU ALL LIKED THIS ONE EVEN WITH ALL IT'S RANDOMNESS! THE SONGS I USED WERE "RICH GIRL" AND "GIRLFRIEND". THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE SPIDEY BACK AND A "RED TEAM RANDOMNESS:INTRODUCTION!" FOR ALL YOU DAREDEVIL, SPIDEY, OR DEADPOOL FANS! IT'S GOING TO BE D.D. AND D.P. TALKING TO A BUNCH OF GUYS IN RED IN ORDER TO FIND A BROTHA! STARTING WITH THE MAN OF IRON HIMSELF! YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO TYPE ALL THIS LOL.**_

 _ **OKAY DEN BYEEEEEEEEE!**_


	3. RED TEAM RANDOMNESS 1!(SORTA)

**_Just saying that becuz of my divorced parents and I gotta switch every week now instead of every 2-4 days and so I'll probably be updating hopefully every other week. However, I don't like making deadlines for myself either way so you just gotta wait like I do u know?_**

 ** _OMG OMG OOOOOMMMMMGGGGGG! DID U GUYS SEE THE NEW DEADPOOL TRAILER? OMG I WOULDN'T STOP LAUGHING! I WAS WORRIED THEY WOULDN'T ADD THE SCARS BECAUSE THAT WOULD SUCK… IT'S A GOOD THING THEY KEPT THEM :D_**

 ** _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOGMOMMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOGMG I JUST WATCH THE CAPATIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR! WHO THE HELL WOULD GIVE THE ANDREW GARFEILD SPIDERMAN A FRIGGIN REBOOT! BUT IT'S CAP VS IRON! FREEDOM VS SAFTEY! ITS GUNNA BE EPIC! BUT POOR CAP! I LUV HIM! BUT I LUV SPIDEY! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS! SOMEONE TELL ME PLEASE! __**

 ** _DISCLAIMER (NOT SO MUCH BUT MORE FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF MAN KIND): I DO NOT OWN ANY PART OF MARVEL EXCEPT FOR MY FANART AND FANFICTIONS! YOU CAN FIND ME ON WATTPAD AND INSTAGRAM AS LUXORA, AND FIND ME ON DEVIANTART AS LUXY_OREO (SOMETHING LIKE THAT)…_**

 ** _JUST RECOGNIZE ME AS LUXORA OR LUXY. SEE, THAT'S WHY I WOULD_** ** _SUCK_** ** _AS A SUPER HERO WITH A SECRET IDENTITY… SURE I'M PRETTY GOOD AT KEEPING SECRETS BUT I'LL PROBABLY TELL A FRIEND WHO WILL TELL ANOTHER FRIEND WHO MOST LIKELY WILL BE A GOSSIPER. U KNOW… PEOPLE ASK ME SOMETIMES (NO ONES ASKS ME… I JUST ASK MYSELF IN MY SLEEP… I'M SO ALONE IN THE SUMMER BUT IT'S GREAT NOW THAT I'VE SURVIVED MY THIRD WEEK OF BEING ONE OF THE FRESHMEN… THAT'S RIGHT, YA'LL ARE READING A GREAT ASS STORY |OKAY MAYBE NOT SO GREAT| WRITTEN BY A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRL) OKAY, SO SOMETIMES PEOPLE ASK ME "LUXORA,HOW THE HECK DO YOU WRITE GOOD LUV STORIES IF YOU'VE NEVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP, DON'T NORMALLY WATCH LUV MOVIES, DON'T READ MANY BOOKS OTHER THAN FANFICS, AND DON'T EXACTLY HAVE A CRUSH?" AND THAT GETS ME THINKIN' LIKE "I GUESS IT'S THE MUSIC THAT FUELS MY RANDOM MIND…"_**

 ** _|CAN WE BEGIN THE STORY ALREADY?|_**

 ** _~COULD BE WORSE, SHE COULD MAKE THIS LONGER IF SHE WANTS TO.~_**

 ** _YEAH… I CAN… BUT I'D RATHER NOT FOR I AM TOO LAZY._**

 ** _DODODODODO LINE BREAK__**

 ** _Ch.3 RED TEAM RANDOMNESS!: FINDING A NEW BRO! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZ_**

 ** _TONY'S P.O.V._**

Tony flopped head first onto his beige king-sized bed, letting out a frustrated groan. He didn't get what Pepper didn't like about the card he bought for her. The billionaire chuckled, recalling the written words on said card, "Behind every great man, is a woman. Behind every Batman, is a ROBIN. Behind every Stark, is a JARVIS. And behind every hero, is a woman who won't stop bitching at him to get his act together and stop risking his life."

Personally, Tony had liked that sentence, but Pepper hadn't, he realized that from the still sore smack to the face she gave him.

"JARVIS?" He called out. Tony had remade JARVIS after the previous one turned into some half god half freaking android thing that took the name Vision. Vision then joined the Avengers along with the Maximoff twins (thank you Magneto, now there are three of you), Falcon, and Ant-Man if he accepts the invitation.

"Yes ?" The A.I. asked.

"First, stop calling me ; that was my dad. Instead, call me Tony or Iron Man the Great. Second, if anyone wants to talk to me tonight, tell them to fuck off."

"Yes sir, and sorry sir but I was not programed to call you by your first name nor do I want to call you by the suggested title."

"Whatever. Goodnight…biiiiitch."

"Goodnight sir."

The billionaire gave out a long and desperate sigh before letting his sleep finally take over after a three-nighter. After ten minutes, Tony began to hear the silent creak of his large window, and one VERY annoying whisper.

" _Tony._ " Tony felt a small poke on his shoulder.

" _Toooooony_ " Two more pokes followed. Five seconds later he was shaken mercilessly by the voice, this time shouting.

" _TOOOOONNNYYYYYYYYYYYY_!" Tony's eyes protested as they opened to see who disturbed him.

Standing in front of the billionaire were two figures dressed in red. One happening to be the well-known and infamous Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool, whom both SHIELD and the X-Men had warned him of. And the other being a tall man with devil horns and double D's on his chest, along with two billy clubs at his side. Tony recognized him as the famous and kinda freaky vigilante of Hell's Kitchen.

"What the hell are you two doing here? And how did JARVIS let you in?"

"Deadpool found a loophole." Growled a rather cranky Daredevil. Tony was furious that JARVIS had allowed them to come.

"JARVIS?!" Tony called out.

"I am sorry sir but I'm afraid it is true."

 ** _FLASHBACK__**

 _Deadpool and Daredevil walk up to the side of Stark Tower( Now the Avengers Tower)._

 _"_ _I don't mean to be a smartass, actually yes I do, but shouldn't we be walking through the front lobby?" asked an uncertain vigilante._

 _Deadpool scoffed "No, JARVIS answers from anywhere around the building!"_

 _|He does?|_

 _~He does?~_

 _"_ _He does." Said Deadpool._

 _"_ _Who does what?" Asked Daredevil._

 _"_ _Who does what what?"_

 _"_ _ **Who**_ _is_ _ **he**_ _who does_ _ **what**_ _?"_

 _"_ _OOOOOOHHHHH! JARVIS is the he who does the answering around the building! JAAARVIIISS?!" Deadpool yelled._

 _"_ _Yes. Who is speaking? Are you in need of assistance?" The new A.I. spoke._

 _"_ _I, MY FINE COMPADRE, AM DEADPOOL. AND THIS IS DAREDEVIL!" he said, gesturing to the devil horned man, "We have a proposition to ask Tony—"_

 _"_ _I am terribly sorry Deadpool, Daredevil, but Tony has informed me 6 minutes ago to tell any visitors to 'fuck off'." JARVIS said, recalling the last request his master made._

 _"_ _Son of a bitch." Said Daredevil, obviously knowing something like this should have happened, this is the Avengers Tower after all. Deadpool's smirk became wider under his mask, finding a solution._

 _"_ _Ah but you see JARVIS, Master Tony didn't inform you to_ _ **DO**_ _anything to us did he?" Deadpool asked._

 _"_ _I'm afraid not sir."_

 _"_ _So in other words, Tony never said we couldn't go in." Daredevil added._

 _"_ _That is true sir, carry on."_

 ** _IN THE PRESENT__**

"What do you want?" Asked Tony, who got up from the bed, "JARVIS. Get me a margarita will you?"

"Sir, might I suggest not drinking so late at night." The A.I. said.

"No. And you," he said pointing to the red pair, "talk."

"Okay! You know how I know that you know that I know that you like red? Well, SO DO WE! SO THE TWO OF US ARE IN NEED OF A THIRD GUY WHO NEEDS TO BE SMART AND A FAVORER OF RED INSTEAD OF FLIPPING GREEN! WHAT DO YOU SAY?!" Deadpool shouted, arms out wide with the world's largest smile plastered on his mask/face. Tony thought for a moment.

"JARVIS?" He asked.

"Yes ."

"Kick them out of the house for me." Before the Mercenary could ask what he meant, a giant rubber boot swung from the ceiling, knocking both red suited men out of the tower with one swift kick and a quickly opened window. As the pair fell from the sky, they noticed the now famous hero, Ant-Man.

 ** _PETER! PETER YES! YES PETER IT'S YOUR FRIGGIN P.O.V. NOW__**

Peter sighed as he looked at Gwen's grave again. It's been over a day since he'd seen Felicia, and the teen felt disappointed. Not in her, but himself. Peter was so close to kissing the blond beauty back, and this happened _right above of Gwen's grave._ But what disappointed him the most was that he hadn't thought of Gwen once when Felicia was there, even before she tried to kiss him, all he was thinking about was if he really deserved someone like Felicia. _Gwen would have wanted me to move on, so why is it that I can't? Hell, after what happened with Felicia I wouldn't be surprised if the woman stopped talking to me let alone started avoiding me._ But of course that wasn't true because as soon as Peter walked out of the cemetery, Felicia had shown up to talk to him.

"Hey Peter!" Said the usually cheery Felicia. "I just wanted to apologize about the other day and all. I usually don't do this often so you know. I am sorry for rushing onto you like that, I seriously blame it on the rain, it made the moment." She laughed. "So if you want, we could still be friends until one of us wants to take things a little further! What do you say?"

"I uh- yeah- um- aren't you like- mad at me er something?" Peter asked, as his head repeatedly shrugged and nodded.

"Nooooo….. I don't see how it's your fault so…"

"Oh, right, well okay. Yeah, being friends, I can live with that."

Felicia grinned with her pink lips. "Great! Bye!" And with that, the beauty ran away through the crowd that came and left with rush-hour.

 ** _OKAY SO BEING THE AUTHOR, I_** ** _COULD_** ** _REWRITE THAT WHOLE SCENE WITH GWEN'S SPEECH THAT WILL MAKE YOU CRY AND STUFF LIKE THAT… BUT I DUN WANNA SINCE I DON'T FEEL LIKE WRITING THAT_** ** _WHOLE SPEECH_** ** _. SO I'LL JUST SAY THAT SPEECH JUST HAPPENED ONCE PETER CAME BACK MMMKAY? MKAY DEN._**

Peter sat up from his bed as a single tear ( ** _OMG SINGLE TEAR U GUYS!_** ) fell from his face and tapped the bed, but to Peter's hearing it seemed like a large thud. _You're right Gwen. I shouldn't be letting the past bother me. You've saved me for the last time Gwen, thank you, again._

Peter fished around his closet until he had found what he was looking for, his suit. Peter felt around the web pattern before staring down at his mask. It's kinda funny really. The boy who always had trouble at his tail, and the mask that always saved him from it. When he tried it on, Peter realized how much smaller he had gotten, due do his depression and lack of food.

Peter's super-hearing picked up a scream nearby and he instantly threw open the window and swung out. _I guess old habits are hard to lose._

 ** _T-E-E-N—T-I-T-A-N-S TEEN TI~~~~~~~ WAIT ….T-E-A-M—R-E-D-OMG- YAS_**

"Okay man, here's the thang," Deadpool started towards Ant-Man, "you are smart, you got _great_ hair, a wife and daughter, and you can kick ass! But you got one problem," he gestured towards Ant-Man's shoes, "WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOSSSSSE?!"

Ant-Man took a huge breath, "THEY'RE CROOOCCSS!" he shouted before the two men began laughing. Daredevil had allowed Deadpool to take this one after multiple times of pleading and whining.

Ant-Man wiped a tear from his eye, "I gotta say man, you are hilarious!"

Deadpool bowed down dramatically, "Why thank you my friend! It comes with the scars! Anywho… I wanna ask you something that I hope you will accept mkay?"

"Shoot. ACTUALLY NO, DON'T SHOOT. Ask." Deadpool frowned and put his rifle down.

"So, Daredevil and I wanna a start some brotherhood team but we need one more guy and Iron Man literally sent us flying out the window where we saw you and now we want you to join, because it's not about who was chosen first, it's about the final decision." Deadpool said, softening his tone for the last part. Ant-Man looked oblivious to Deapools 'touching' words and shrugged.

"No."

|NO?|

~No?~

"No?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"No."

"No?"

"No I do not want to join. Besides, I'm already thinking of joining the Avengers!" Deadpool paused, taking a moment to think before letting the words sink in.

~|There are no words to describe this feeling|~

Deadpool dropped on his knees and brought his arms up. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….OOOokay I'm done. Come on Daredevil, let's talk to the Red Hulk now."

"Okay." Said Daredevil after he popped out from the corner. The pair left a very dumbfounded Ant-Man.

 ** __HEY FELICIA!__**

Felicia had been walking around when a man in a giant mechanical rhinoceros started shouting ' _I AM ZE RHINOOOOOOOO!'_ _I mean seriously, we already know that with that suit you're wearing. Dumbass._

The blond would have just left the situation and let the cops handle it or something, until some stupidass kid decided to dress as Spider-Man and walk up to the guy. _Idiot! What the hell is he thinking?! Oh, that's what._ Felicia's eyes widened for once, when the real Spider-Man swooped in to save him.

 _He's back. H-he's really back._

Spider-Man began speaking to the kid and let him go to his parents. The vigilante barrowed a megaphone as Rhino stomped his feet.

"YOU FIGHT ME! YOU FIGHT ME NOW EH?" The Russian villain said with his accent. Spider-Man raised the megaphone.

"I ASK FOR THE FINE PEOPLE OF NEW YORK CITY AND REAL RHINOS EVERYWHERE THAT YOU PUT YOUR MECHANIZED PAWS IN THE AIR."

"NEVAR!" he punched the ground. "I JUST WANNA KILL YOU! I DESTROY YOU!"

"YOU WANT ME TO COME DOWN SO YOU CAN KILL ME?"

"YES!"

"I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. Ah, there's no place like home." Spider-Man mumbled, throwing the megaphone behind him as the Rhino got ready to fight and charged.

Rhino shot three missiles just as Spider-Man flipped off the car and picked up a manhole cover, using it to shield the first missile. He attached webbing to it, jumped and swung around, blocking the other two missiles as he continued to swing around until he had hit the Rhino's horn off with it.

He flipped back to inspect the damage, placing his hand on his chin.

"I say with a few C.A.T. scans, a butload of ice cream, and some bandages… yeah no, there's no way you can defend yourself from other rhinos now."

"STUPID BUG! YOU VILL PAY FOR ZAT!" The Rhino charged again, using the jagged edges of the busted horn as an advantage as he ran towards him, once again, on all fours.

Felicia smirked as the vigilante somehow dodged all the speeding bullets without effort, flipping around and webbing the Rhino at every corner he could. Spider-Man webbed one of the Rhino's legs and began running around him at blazing speed, Felicia could tell this wasn't even close to his actual speed. He pulled the web back and the Rhino fell forward with a large crash.

When the vigilante stepped next to the machine, its mechanized arm smacked him towards the wall, but Spider-Man shot two webs at the Rhino, who had gotten up. He used the webs to shoot himself back towards the Rhino, and kicked at the glass, breaking it, and hitting the Russian square in the face. The machine fell back as Spider-Man pulled the man out. Everybody cheered when the police pulled up to talk to the vigilante.

Felicia smiled. "Welcome back, Spider-Man."

 ** _SAY TONY TEN TIMES FAST. TONYTONYTONYTONYTONYTONYTONYTONYTONYTONY_**

Tony literally spat out the margarita he was previously drinking, not because JARVIS refused to make him one so Happy did it, but because he'd just seen footage of SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER FREAKING MAN! The same guy who used to kick ass all around New York! The guy who saved us ALL from turning into giant teenage mutant ninja turtles! The same guy who beat Electro and sent The Goblin, also known as Harry Osborn, aka the boss of Tony's rival company (Osborn Industries), TO RAVENCROFT. And the SAME Spider-Man who had left New York alone for practically a year!

"JARVISSSS!" he shouted.

"Yes, ."

"Get Fury on the phone!" JARVIS pulled up a screen.

"What the hell are you callin' me for?!" Fury barked.

"HE'S FREAKIN BACK! THE SAME GUY YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO CATCH SINCE HE WAS FIRST SEEN IN THE PUBLIC EYE!"

"Who? I always get what I want, Tony."

Tony scoffed. "Except for Spider-Man. D'you know he's back?" He said, raising his glass towards the screen.

"Yes, and we've set 'finding him' aside, until now. I want you and the Avengers on this case okay? I don't care if you are still on your little vacation, make up with them like a freaking adult and work on finding this man like you failed to do so last time." Fury hung up with that.

Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead. " JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir."

"Assemble the Avengers."

"Of course."

"Oh, and tell Steve he still owes me shawarma for going to 's niece's birthday party the day he decided to destroy the three new helicarriers. Seriously, if he wanted help destroying them he could have called me for some tank missiles; better yet, should've called the Hulk."

 ** _DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDEADPOOL!_**

"Hi guys! It's me, Elmo!" Shouted the fuzzy red thingy. Deadpool ran up to him with Daredevil.

"OMG ELMO PLEASE JOIN OUR BROTHERHOOD!"

"Of course friend!"

"Wait," Daredevil said, "How do you feel about blood?"

"Well, I think we all need blood to live! We don't want to get a booboo do we?"

"Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhh…. Nevermind then Elmo, later!" Shouted the Mercenary.

"Bye bye!"

* * *

"ITSA ME, MARIO!"

"ITSA ME, DEADPOOL!"

"OH NO! DO NOT KILL ZE BROWSER!"

"Why not? Won't he just keep kidnaping the Princess?" Said Daredevil.

"MEH, OKAY, GO AHEAD ZEN."

* * *

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Red Hulk screamed as he repeated to smash the Mercenary.

"Oof! Daredevil-ack- we shoulda- blah- went with- Mickey Mouse!"

 ** _BY THE WAY U GUYS, IM NOT REALLY INTO THE NEW FANTASTIC FOUR SO I'LL JUST LEAVE THE OLDER ONES WITH CHRIS EVANS AND YOU KNOW… CUZ WHO DOESN'T LIKE CHRIS EVANS._**

 ** _IN LE BAXTER BUILDING__**

"Hey Reed?" Sue called to her husband, Reed Richards.

"Yeah hun?"

"Do you remember that one guy who called himself Spider-Man?"

"HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT SPIDER-MAN IS BACK?" Shouted Johnny Storm from another room.

"Didn't The Daily Bugle used to call 'im a menace to society er somethin?" Ben Grimm, aka The Thing, asked with his ruff voice.

"Yeah," answered Reed, "but can't we relate? There have been people who misjudged us, maybe doesn't trust this man because of his mask."

"Yeah, whatever."

 ** _PETER PAN, PETER PETRELLI, PETER PIPER, PETER PARKER__**

 ** _A FEW DAYS LATER_**

 _It's always nights like these that make my life more exciting._ Spider-Man, aka Peter, thought as he slid behind a mugger who was yelling at a man.

He tapped on the mugger's shoulder.

"Hey buddy," he said as he punch the man in the face, "pick on someone your own size why don't you."

"What the hell?" The guy got up and tried to throw a sloppy punch at Spider-Man, who dodged, grabbed his fist, and flipped him over. The man fell and Spidey decided to web him there. Spider-Man walked up to the victim.

"You should call the cops." He said, before swinging off.

Peter was beginning to believe this was a normal night filled with your everyday thugs, that was until two red dressed men had walked up to him.

"That's a weird Spider-Man costume." He joked towards one of them, whose suit was in a way similar to his. Except, he was much taller and muscular, there were no web patterns, there was black instead of blue, where Spider-Man's eyes were mostly white, this man's eyes were mostly black with a little white in the center, he also carried a belt full of pouches and two katanas in the back of him.

"HEY! I'VE BEEN ROCKING THIS GROOVE IN CANADA LONGER THAN YOU'VE BEEN ALIVE! OW!" The other man wacked him, he wore an all red suit with double D's at his chest and had devil horns, what freaked out Spider-Man was that this man had no lenses over his eyes, just the same material used on his mask.

"Deadpool, obviously he was joking." He said, walking towards Spider-Man with his hand held out, "Daredevil, vigilante of Hell's Kitchen in case you've wondered." Peter shook his hand.

"Spider-Man, vigilante of New York I guess." He said, feeling a sense of relief knowing that they were good, or at least Daredevil is.

"GREAT! NOW THAT WE HAVE PAST THE INTRODUCTION LET'S GET THIS STARTED!" Deadpool shouted.

Daredevil sighed, "Deadpool has been hanging out with me for quite some time, now he wants one more person to be with us, or our brother as he calls it, he wants to form a team of three called Red Team. And after being rejected many times, we saw you and decided to ask. Will you join? It would really help."

"Is there anything I would get out of it?"

"Back up, two reliable guys, and some small missions from time to time. You should really join; after all, ever since you reappeared you've had many targets on your back already. Deadpool has helped me out with the ones targeted on me." Spider-Man thought for a moment.

"Tell you what, I'll join as long as Deadpool takes care of the guys targeting me too."

"Uh, HELLO! RIGHT HERE! DUH, I'M NOT GUNNA LET MY LITTLE BROTHER DIE OR ANYTHING!" Deadpool chuckled as Spider-Man choked when he decided to give 'baby boy' a bear hug.

"LITTLE?! WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?"

"Aww come one baby boy! Your voice sounds like you've barely hit puberty!"

"Don't call me baby boy."

"CAN WE KEEP HIM DD?"

"No, besides, I think he's forgetting to do something, or he's busy." Spider-Man searched his brain for a second before it hit him.

"I FORGOT THE EGGS! SORRY GUYS, GOTTA GO!" Peter shouted before swinging off towards the store.

* * *

Peter got changed around the corner and instantly ran towards the grocery store, tugging his bag, which held his outfit, close to him. _Damn you Parker Luck_ , he thought when the store was closed. Now he had to go to the Vegan store across the street.

The cashier had been this skinny pale girl with piercings and pink hair who stared at Peter like a cold soda on a summer day, but Peter ignored it and began walking to where he guessed would be the eggs. For a vegan store they sure had a lot of things nonvegan.

In front of the aisle, back facing Peter was a man with curly brown hair, who looked out of place in a store like this.

Bruce Banner stared at the eggs. _Why does there have to be so many kinds? Okay, I know the answer to that but seriously? Is it that hard just to find the regular ones?_

"Excuse me," said a voice from behind(a teenage boy probably), "just gotta get one." Bruce moved aside.

"Sorry." He said as the boy reached to grab the eggs.

"Oh no, that's fine, I get it. You don't normally come here and finding the right eggs is like looking for a needle in a haystack." The guy smiled when Bruce laughed and looked up to see who he was talking to. Immediately his eyes widened.

"You're- OH MY GOD- Y-YOU ARE BRUCE BANNERS! Oh-ho man! Dude I- I am a HUGE fan! I mean –I read your article on the gamma radiation and that other one with the crossing the two— OHMYGOD- I'm talking too much I am so sorry. God! Gwen would flip if she heard about this! She and I are like your biggest fans! Wait- I didn't introduce myself, Peter Parker." He said, putting out his hand for Bruce to shake.

"You read my work?" He asked. Peter nodded.

"And you both understood it?"

"Yep! Me and Gwen- um yeah," he looked down, as if remembering something too big to believe, "—yeah, me and Gwen Stacy both did." Bruce's eyes widened, remembering the news about the death of an intelligent girl named Gwen Stacy.

"Peter I am sorry—"

"No, no it's fine. Um- listen I gotta go. Got an aunt to take care of." Peter said before leaving the scientist to find the right eggs.

 ** _PETER RETEP… PARKER REKRAP WOW… OMG LITTERALLY OVER FOUR THOUSAND WORDS NOW! DANG …_**


	4. bing!

**_HEY GUYS/GUUUURRLZZZZZ!OKAY SO FIRST, I WANNA THANK ALL THE READERS, FAVORERS, FOLLOWERS, AND REVIEWERS! YA'LL ARE AWESOME AND SHTUFF…_**

 ** _SO I GOT A REVIEW FROM_** ** _Koi Fish_** ** _ASKING IF I WROTE THIS STUFF SUGAR HIGH. YES… YES I DO… IN FACT I JUST WENT HIKING AND FILLED MYSELF WITH A STRAWBERRY SMOOTHY SO YES, I AM SUGAR HIGH. SHE/HE ALSO ASKED IF PETER AND JOHNNY COULD MEET…_** ** _OMG YES! I WAS ALREADY PLANNING THAT!_** ** _AND AS FOR IF HE WORKS FOR BRUCE? LET'S JUST SAY HE WORKS IN THE AVENGERS TOWER… FOR SOMEONE QUITE FAMILIAR WITH TONY…_**

 ** _OKAY SO IF U GUYS HAVE BEEN WANTING TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND ARE WAITING FOR REPLIES OR SOMETHING. BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR THE STORY THEN GO AHEAD AND ASK AND I HAVE TWO WAYS IT'LL BE USED. IF IT ISN'T USED, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENCE BECAUSE THE IDEA MIGHT HAVE BEEN TOO BIG THAT IT MIGHT CHANGE THE WHOLE STORY PLAN. I WILL THANK U FOR ASKING THO._**

 ** _IF IT'S A YAOI OR SOMETHING THAT WOULDN'T REALLY FIT IN THEN I MIGHT MAKE A SEPARATE CHAPTER FOR IT BECUZ I DO LIKE YAOI BUT MAYBE SOME OF THE READERS DON'T, AND BECUZ AFTER PLANNING THE STORY I WOULDN'T WANT TO CHANGE IT SO DRASTICALLY THAT IT WOULN'T FEEL NATURAL TO ME U KNOW?_**

 ** _IF THE IDEA IS PRETTY COOL AND SOMETHING I WOULD PUT IN THE STORY THEN I WILL ADD IT AND GIVE U GUYS SOME CREDIT BECUZ I DON'T WANT TO STEAL IDEAS FROM ANYONE. ALSO, IF THERE ARE A WHOLE LOT OF IDEAS THEN I MIGHT TAKE BITS AND PIECES TO ADD TO THE STORY STILL MAKES A LITTLE SENSE._**

 ** _OKAY I THINK THAT IS ALL SO WE MIGHT AS WELL GET STARTED._**

 ** _OH YAH! IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA BUT YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH ME LETTING PEOPLE KNOW IT WAS YOU THEN PLEASE TELL ME SO I COULD MAKE YOU ANONYMOUS OR SOMETHING. AND IF ANY OF YOU WANT SPOILERS FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR A SMALL SPOILER LIKE WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT OR SOMETHING BIG LIKE A PART OF A FUTURE CHAPTER OR SOMETHING (I PUT SPOILERS AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER)._**

 ** _PETER PARKER PICKED A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS (AND UNKNOWINGLY MADE TONY JEALOUS)_**

Peter pushed the door of his Aunt May's house open with joy, resulting in an expected slam.

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOMG AUNT MAY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I JUST MET AT THE VEGAN STORE!" He shouted towards his aunt, who was making meatballs in the kitchen.

"No Peter! I do not! So please refrain from yelling in my ear." She said, making Peter cough uncomfortably. "Now, who did you meet at the vegan store?" Peter grinned yet again.

"Okay so you know how I'm a genius right?"

"Yes, Peter, everyone must know that by now."

"Okay, okay, okay so I was in the store right? And I was reaching for the eggs and this other guy, wow, this other guy who happened to be staring at the egg aisle TURNED OUT TO BE THE GENIUS BRUCE BANNER!"

"Oh wow! Good for you Peter! Do you think he could get you a job?" She asked.

"Uh, gee, I dunno Aunt May, it was just one time and… I think he would have forgotten my name, you know, being part of the Avengers and all…"

"That's fine Petey, did you get the milk like I asked?" Peter froze. He pulled out the eggs from his bag.

"I thought you asked for eggs…"

"Oh I did Peter, I just wanted to make sure you actually listened." Aunt May took the eggs from Peter and continued working on the meatballs.

"Yeah okay Aunt May! Uh, I'll be in my room listening to music so you'll need to call me if you need anything."

"Okay Peter, dinner will be ready in a few hours or less."

"Alright!" Shouted Peter as he ran up the stairs towards his room.

The teenager pulled his suit out of a hidden drawer underneath his bed and slipped it on.

 _Not bad._ Peter thought as he admired himself in the mirror. If he were to wear his regular street clothes, Peter would look like some tall guy just passing by. Put on the red and blue spandex… damn… not to brag or anything, but he looked good. Thin? Yes. Flexible? DEFINITELY. A noodle? Not under all the layers of clothes he wears.

Peter, now known as Spider-Man, slipped out of his bedroom window and swung into Time Square.

 ** _20 MINUTES LATER…._**

Spider-Man coughed repetitively on top of one of the buildings. The vigilante had saved a family from a fire and The Daily Bugle still had the guts to call him a menace. _Seriously, what does have against me anyways? Okay… I guess leaving New York in ruins for a while didn't really help anyone… but on the bright side I made the Avengers seem more epic for defeating Ultron without my help… right?_

Peter's thoughts were cut off when someone ran past him at a speed faster than the average villain. He got up from where he previously sat and went into a fighting stance. A feminine voice cut through the silence.

"Hey Spidey!" Peter turned around and saw a crazy hot woman with blond hair so light that it would have looked silver to any normal person. She wore an intensely tight cat suit that showed all the right curves, with white fur on the back of her long black boots and gloves and the same fur lining her long V-neck cat-suit that was zipped down so low that you would wonder when the whole suit would snap. "Hey, your ass looks sooo much better than it does on TV by the way hun." Spider-Man ignored the last word and the purr in the woman's voice as he eyed her with suspicion.

"Who are you?" The woman pouted and licked her plump rose lips.

"I know baby, kinda hard being a known cat burglar if nobody can see you. My name is Black Cat sweet cheeks." She said, walking towards Spider-Man. Peter trusted his spidey sense when Black Cat decided to rolled his mask up half way. She kissed him and he tensed, staying as still as a statue when Black Cat smirked and turned around.

She went to the edge of the building and crouched down, the leather of the cat-suit getting tighter around her two moons, before jumping off and leaving Spider-Man to collect his thoughts. _I let her get away. But she wasn't carrying anything stolen…. Why did she come out anyways? It can't just be for me. Can it?_

Spider-Man decided to wrap things up for tonight and go home after checking for any more crimes.

 ** _ZE VERY NEXT DAY_**

Peter decided to take a walk around town to clear his mind of what happened last night.

 _I'm pretty sure I've never met anyone who's acted that way, but still, I can't help but feel like I've known her before last night. Ugh, this week can't get any more confusing._

Peter scanned his mind for anyone fitting the new burglar's profile, but before coming up with an answer, he shrieked as he was pulled into a building and thrown onto a chair, which he now sat on.

Peter looked around the dark room, but couldn't find a thing, that was until a bright light clicked on in front of him. He could see the faint figure of a woman sitting opposite of him with a flashlight and a clipboard.

"I am , I would like to ask you questions." She said, Peter gulped.

"Try me."

"Any strengths?"

"I'm a science genius and I know a few self-defense moves in case anything happened." He answered, obviously hinting towards his kidnapper.

"Weaknesses?"

"Yeah actually, I'm a joker and I'm late because of New York traffic." Peter was pretty sure this would be something like a weird job interview or something.

"Name."

"Shouldn't you have asked me that first? This is the worst job interview I have ever been in—"

"Name." said with more tone.

"Peter."

"No last name?"

"Sorry but I don't trust people who place me in a dark room with only one, two, three lights." Peter said, taking note of the tiny light behind ."

"How well do you handle stressing or unusual situations?"

"Considering I am not freaking out that a woman is interrogating me for personal questions—"

"Age?"

"Like that. I'll tell you that I am around 15 to 25 because I don't trust you again. Anyways, I think I am capable of handling odd situations."

"Do you follow orders?"

"As long as nobody gets hurt then yes."

"How do you deal with annoying people?"

"Like you? Just smile, make a witty comeback, and tell yourself to roll with it until you've got something better to do." He said, referring to his workers at The Bugle.

"Any jobs?" What a coincidence.

"I work as a photographer at The Daily Bugle."

"If you had a chance to work at Stark Industries would you?"

"Yes."

"Would you want to see Tony Stark for his suit?"

"One, I would be lying if I said no. Two, as much as the super-suit makes his ego even bigger, being a flying toaster isn't what I idolized him for. I would much rather prefer his mind rather than his ego." All the lights turned on to reveal an office with some tools lying around which included tape, rope, a key lock, a gun, a knife, a tazer-gun, and the latest smartphone created by Stark Industries.

Before Peter could ask what was going on, jumped at him with a knife,Peter dodged a little slowly (on purpose of course). The first thing he did was run towards the tape and run behind Hill before taking her arms and wrapping the tape around them. tried to get out but Peter decided to tie the rope around her and make a knot he learned from being in the boyscout as a kid. He then took the key lock and locked the rope with the tape and ran towards the smartphone to call 911. Of course, there was a password, so Peter hacked the phone to call. He then felt heat at the phone as his spidey sense tingled, so he threw it at the floor before it exploded.

Before Peter could find a way to crawl up to the vent, a voice stopped him.

"Good job. You're hired. None of the others got as far as you."

"THERE WERE OTHERS?! WHAT KIND OF JOB IS THIS— oh wait. This is a job interview for Stark Industries… who else would ask a random guy about Tony then attack him out of nowhere."

"Why didn't you shoot me or try to knock me out?"

"One, I would never aim to injure a random woman and leave her for nobody to find. Two, I might hit you in the wrong place and you could never be the same. Three, how can anybody ask questions if they've knocked out their only source of getting out or getting information?"

"Smart, thoughtful, and tactical. Perfect. Come with me and I'll take you to your employer." somehow took a knife from her sleeve and began to cut herself away before walking through a hologram door which made Peter wonder where his spidey senses went. Peter followed into a room with a single woman sitting in her desk, this woman was—

"No way! Y-you are ! It is an honor to meet you ma'am." Peter said, keeping his hands at his side.

"Please , call me Pepper." She said, holding her hand out, which Peter shook eagerly.

"How about you call me Peter and I'll call you Pepper. Also, how did you know my last name?"

"We figured it out when you mentioned you were a photographer." Said and Pepper in unison.

"Right…" _Make a note not to mention your photography skills._ "So, what do I do while I work for you?" He asked Pepper.

"If the receptionist is gone or on break I might have you fill in. If not then I'll have you run errands for me and a few others, be warned that I take absences and unfinished businesses VERY seriously." Peter sucked in air.

"That's fine."

"Good, then come to the receptionists desk tomorrow and meet me at 8:00 am sharp. No need to dress fancy either."

"No problem at all Pepper."

"You can leave now. The elevator is in the hallway to your left."

 ** _AVENGER'S MAIN FLOOR (NO ONE POV)_**

 _*bing_ *, came Tony's ringtone. The billionaire picked up the phone and read Pepper's message.

 **"** **Got a new assistant!"** Tony texted back.

 ** _"_** ** _Cool. Is she cute?"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **He's a guy Tony."**

 ** _"_** ** _Is he cute?"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **TONY!"**

 ** _"_** ** _What? Kidding kidding. You know I don't swing that way babe."_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **I don't know…"**

 ** _"_** ** _But seriously, how old is he? Is he hot enough for you to dump me?"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **No, but he has manners Tony. And yes, he's the kind of cute that makes you think of a puppy with ears too long (It's just too innocent! -) And he's 19 so there's no chance anyways."**

 **"** **I dunnoo…."**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **TONY! DON'T EVEN THINK I WOULD DO THAT!"**

 ** _"_** ** _JOKING! JK JK! :D_**

 ** _When do I meet him?"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **Tomorrow."**

 ** _"_** ** _Coooool…."_** Tony sent before putting down the phone.

"Pepper got a new assistant!" He shouted to the others.

"IZ SHE CUTE?" Shouted Pietro across the room, who was playing video games with Sam.

"IT'S A GUY!"

"…IZ HE CUTE?"

"THAT'S WHAT I ASKED!"

"How long do you think he vill last?" Wanda asked.

"I dunno, but we'll see him tomorrow. Or so she says."

"It's been a while since Pepper has gotten an assistant, I hope she sticks with this one." Stated Steve from the sofa.

"Well, she told me he was 19 so you know… teenagers."

"I WISH TO MEET THIS BOY!" Shouted the always loud Thor. "WHAT IS THE NAME OF HER CHAMPION?!"

"Dunno. Again, we meet him tomorrow so…"

 _*bing*_ Tony checked Pepper's message.

 **"** **Did I mention that he's a genius?"** Tony let the words sink into his mind.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! BRUCE WE GOT ANOTHER SCIENCE BUDDY IF PEPPER APPROVES!" Tony shouted towards the lab. He texted back.

 ** _"_** ** _Let's keep him."_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **He's not a dog Tony"**

 _*bing*_

 **"…"**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **Tony?"**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **TONY DON'T YOU DARE THINK OF IT."**

 ** _"…"_**

 _*bing*_

 ** _"_** **NO."**

 ** _"_** ** _I'm buying a collar."_**

*bing*

 **"** **DON'T. YOU. DARE!"**

 ** _"_** ** _AND A BALL!"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **TONY I AM WARNING YOU!"**

 ** _"_** ** _AND LIL TREATS!"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **YOU ARE GOING TO EMBARRASS HIM!"**

 ** _"_** ** _BETTER ME THAN SOMEBODY ELSE! ;D"_**

…

 _*bing*_

 **"** **Yeah I guess you're right."**

 ** _"_** ** _I know."_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **You still aren't doing it tho."**

 ** _"_** ** _I can't promise you anything…"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **Tony."** He put his phone down.

 _*bing*_

…

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _…_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

 _*bing*_

"Sir. You have received a call from ." Said Jarvis. Everyone in the main room shuddered.

"BRACE YOURSELVES!" Shouted Clint from his vent.

"JARVIS…"

"Yes ?"

"…Answer…"

 ** _R.I.P. TONY… HE MESSED WITH THE WRONG GINGER.—LUXY_**

 ** _LE VERY NEXT DAY (NO ONE'S POV)_**

 _"_ _Hey Peter." Felicia greeted Peter in his school._

 _"_ _Hey."_

 _"_ _Nice mask." Peter brought his hands to his face to find that his mask was still on._

 _"_ _I-I can explain Felicia—mmmph!" Felicia rolled up his mask and kissed him. Peter was about to kiss back when—_

 ** _*beep beep beep beep beep beep!*_**

Peter immediately smashed the alarm clock for interrupting the dream. But then he realized why it had rung at all. _I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR MY JOB!_

He scribbled out a note for his Aunt May, put on his suit (street clothes in his bag), and swung out of his window and on his way towards his job.

Peter found an alley way and changed into his street clothes, putting his suit in a hidden pocket in his bag, and ran into the lobby where a woman sat in her desk.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"Yeah, uh, I was hired yesterday and was told to meet ."

"Name?"

"Peter, Peter Parker." The woman scanned through her computer and her eyes widened.

"You have access to almost all floors here."

"That'd be cool if I knew where I were going." He hinted.

"The elevator is too the right of you." She said, pointing towards a VERY high tech looking elevator.

Peter walked in.

"What floor sir?" Asked an A.I.

"Woah, amazing."

"Thank you sir."

"I don't really know where to go."

"Name please."

"Peter Parker."

"That would be floor sixty. And you are very much early by the way. You were to arrive at 8:00 am, it is 7:35. I shall inform of your arrival."

"Uh, thanks?"

"You're welcome sir."

"What can I call you?" Peter asked as the elevator began to move.

"You may address me as JARVIS."

"JARVIS… Just A Rather Very Intelligent System." Peter mumbled.

"You seem to know what I stand for."

"I hacked into here a month ago, didn't steal anything though, just wanted to see hard it'd be."

"Very well, I will inform to upgrade his firearms."

" , I suggest strengthening your firearms." JARVIS suggested towards the billionaire.

"Why?" He asked, along with Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Vision.

"As of a month ago, you were hacked by a teenager to see how difficult it would be."

"WHAT?!" Shouted a now furious Tony. Clint chuckled.

"A genius billionaire hacked by a teenager. Just, wow."

 ** _BY THE WAY, I'M KINDA INTO THE CLINTASHA PAIRING SO IMMA FORGET THAT HE HAD A WIFE AND KIDS I RUN THE SHOW HERE… KINDA LIKE FURY (FANFICTION VERSION)._**

Pepper was currently waiting in front of the elevator for Peter ever since JARVIS informed her of his arrival. It's a good thing too, she likes the early ones.

 _*bing*_ Pepper checked Tony's message.

 **"** **Did you know MY COMPANY was HACKED by a TEENAGER last month?!"** Pepper tried to hold her laughter.

 ** _"_** ** _I bet it was my new employee."_**

…

 _*bing*_

 **"** **I want him more now."**

 ** _"_** ** _DON'T EVEN START IT."_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **:D"**

 ** _"_** ** _What is it Tony?"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **Nooooooooothing."**

 ** _"_** ** _TONY."_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **I'm just excited to meet him."**

 ** _"_** ** _WHAT R U PLANNING?"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **Relax babe. Just wanna have a lil chat and get to know him a little."**

 ** _"_** ** _YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STEEL ANOTHER ONE OF MY EMPLOYEES!"_** Pepper decided to put down her phone once Peter stepped out of the elevator.

"Hello Peter." She greeted.

"Hey Pep! I can call you that right?"

"That is fine. Have you slept well?"

"Yep! Well rested and energized in fact!" _If what you call sleeping at 3:00 am and waking up in four hours well rested then by all means call me perfect._ Peter thought. He had been used to this though so he guess someone could consider it fine.

"Good." She replied, "Because you are going to need the energy if you want to keep your job on the first day." Pepper gave him an 'innocent' smile.

"Uh, what exactly do I have to do?"

"Well, it seems I have left a green folder on the kitchen counter of the Avengers' floor. I also need to get their attention but I misplaced my phone."

"And?"

"I need you do grab the folder and grab their attention without mentioning what I sent you for. Do not let any of them catch you. And meet me in my office if you remember where it is." Peter gulped.

"Oh… okay."

"Perfect. You have ten minutes starting now." As soon as Pepper started the timer, Peter sprinted into the elevator.

"JARVIS! I need you to take me to the Avengers' floor without informing them or making a sound and leave the doors open when I leave. When both of my feet are back in I want you to shut the door tight and bring me to Pepper's floor in an agonizingly slow pace so the Avengers get frustrated, but do not tell them what floor I am headed to okay?"

"Yes, ."

"Okay then go now since I am being timed."

When the doors opened Peter paused for a moment to see where everyone was. Fortunately, everybody was on the couch with their backs facing Peter. Unfortunately, the volume was set low because a few people had complained once to Tony. Fortunately, Peter was light and quiet.

Yes, everybody failed to notice the tall stick figure tip toeing in the back of them, they were too busy watching Mean Girls. Peter grabbed the green file and went back.

Before placing his second foot in the elevator, Peter purposely banged his foot against the tile floor to catch everyone's attention.

Pietro immediately ran towards the elevator, where he caught a glimpse of a tall and skinny teenager with large brown eyes and brown hair right before the elevator doors slammed shut and he ran into the doors.

"What was that?" Asked Steve and Sam in unison.

"It vas a boy with a green folder. Probably took it from here." Pietro answered with his accent.

"Wait! Did you say it was green?!" Tony shouted.

"Yes."

"THAT KID'S GOTTEN HOLD OF SOME SHEILD FILES!" At the mention of this, The Avengers got up from the couch and ran towards the elevator.

"JARVIS! Who was that kid!" Steve shouted.

"…"

"What floor is he headed towards?" Natasha asked.

"…"

The Avengers watched the numbers go down to floor sixty at a slow rate before realizing… they had two elevators.

When Peter arrived onto the floor, he sprinted towards Pepper's office.

The Avengers just arrived in time to see a dirty shoe take a turn in one of the hallways.

"HE'S HEADING TOWARDS PEPPER'S OFFICE! GET HIM!" Tony shouted before everyone ran towards the teen.

Pietro was so close to the boy, but before he could grab him, the boy quickly sidestepped to the side to avoid the wet puddle. Pietro slipped and crashed into an empty office and the kid kept running.

Steve was next, he jumped to tackle the kid after the turn. Pietro's eyes widened when the kid partially lost his footing and ended stumbling yet somehow dodging Steve's jump. The kid ended up making another turn away from Steve. He wasn't even that fast, yet he was oddly able to dodge their attacks by accident.

Wanda accessed the boy's mind to try and slow him down, but Peter, having his spidey senses warn him, immediately thought of that Dancing Elmo toy dancing to the song "Can't Touch This". Wanda stopped in place.

"Hwhat?" She said as the team kept running.

Peter pulled out his phone as he kept sprinting at a 'slow rate' (for him and everyone basically).

 _*bing*_ Pepper received a text from Peter. She gave him her number before through email.

 ** _"_** ** _LOOK UP FROM YOUR DESK PLZZZ!"_**

The ginger looked up and grinned when she saw Peter with the folder. That grin fell when she realized he was running for his life as The Avengers made a turn (Pietro lagging since it wasn't water he slipped on, but oil… something more flammable btw) and was chasing Peter.

Yes, Peter was DEFINITELY sprinting for his life as a regular guy.

"PEPPER THEY ARE GUNNA KILL ME!" He shouted. Peter finally made it into her office and handed the file to her. Catching his breath and smiling before being tackled down by the weight of most of The Avengers (Steve, Thor, Tony, Clint, Sam, and Pietro for revenge).

"Can't… bweeeeaaaathhhh!" He wheezed out before feeling dizzy of not being able to use his strength to bring them up.

Tony looked up to Pepper and gave her a goofy grin. "Pep! We were just trying to catch this thief before he—"

"EVERYBODY GET OFF OF MY EMPLOYEE!" She shouted. The Avengers immediately jumped off the boy so he could breath.

Tony looked at the kid, who was getting up, up and down. He was like Pepper described him.

"THIS is your new employee?!"

"Yes, and he completed his first job in record time actually."

"I—I did?" The kid asked, obviously catching his breath.

"THE CHILD HOLDS SUCH MIGHTLY VALOR." Thor boomed. "I WISH TO KNOW HIS NAME!"

Bruce took a good look at the kid before Pepper answered.

"Everyone, this is—"

"Peter?" Bruce interrupted. Peter looked up from his bent down position.

"Oh, hey . Didn't think you'd remember me."

"How couldn't I? You are the brightest teenager I have met."

"Wait," Tony started, "THIS is the kid you were talking about Bruce?! What a coincidence." It was then that Peter noticed the billionaire. And trust me, it was incredibly hard for Peter to hold himself together.

"OHOOOOMYGOSH! OH MY GOSH! YOU ARE TONY STARK! YOU AND DOCTOR BANNER! I- I PRACTICALLY IDOLIZE THE BOTH OF YOU! I ACTUALLY HAD A FEW WAYS YOU COULD UPGRADE YOUR SUIT AND FIREARMS BY—"

"So you're the guy who hacked into my business?"

"Yeah?" Tony pulled Peter to him and kept a grip on his shoulders, bringing him to Bruce.

"What another coincidence! Bruce, I think we have another science buddy!" Tony let go and Peter brought his hands to his neck.

"Did you— did you just put a collar on me?" Clint chuckled at the collar. It was red and gold with a tag saying "science buddy".

"Yep, catch." Tony threw a red ball at Peter who caught it right when a lollipop was chucked into his mouth.

"Woahhhh…" Peter said with a mouthful of sweets and gummies in a bag.

"Relax kid," Clint said, "You act like you haven't been this happy in months." Peter sent a glare towards him. _Make a mental note to do a background check on this kid,_ Tony thought.

"Hey Pete, what's your last name?" He ask.

"Parker!" Peter said with a stuffed mouth.

"Tony, I really don't think your plan vorked." Pietro said.

"Yeah," Sam said, "he looks happier about meeting his idols than embarrassed about having a collar on."

"Whatever, I'd like to see you guys come up with a better plan."

"Maybe we will." The two Avengers said in unison.

 ** _DUN DUN DUN! ANY IDEAS FOR THE PRANKS? ANY STORY IDEAS? ANY SPOILER QUESTIONS? ANYTHING AT ALL? I HOPE YA'LL LIKED THIS AND PLEASE KEEP READING IF YOU WANT! :D_**

 ** _I'LL BE BACK…_**


	5. THE FIRST BLOOPS

******_OMG CHAPTER FIVE U GUYS! YA'LL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? THAT'S RIGHT! TIME FOR BLOOPERZZZZZZZZZZZ!_**

 **** ** _BY THE WAY, I HAD NO IDEA HOW THESE WOULD TURN OUT AND IT WAS A BIT HARD WRITING IT FROM MY HEAD LOL BUT WHATEVER... IT'S HERE SO..._**

 **** ** _ALSO, IF THERE ARE EVER MISSING WORDS, I APPOLIGIZED BECAUSE THEY WERE THERE WHEN I PUBLISHED AND WHEN I CHECKED MY CHAPTER TO SEE HOW IT CAME OUT AFTER IT WAS PUBLISHED, A FEW THINGS WERE MISSING LOL, LIKE IN THE FIRST CHAPTER WHEN I MEANT TO WRITE AND IT CAME OUT AS NOTHING SO THE SENTENCE WAS LIKE, "though I rather he worked for someone other than ." LIKE, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU REMEBER THAT..._**

 **** ** _OKAY SO WHAT IMMA DO IN SUM OF MY INTROS IS I WILL I WILL PUT SOME PEOPLE'S SUGGESTIONS UP HERE SO I CAN COMMENT WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THEM._**

 ** _.908_** ** _—_** ** _Hmm how about Pepper sending him to get something then Pietro and Sam taking it and having him find it?_**

 ** _hollowichigo12_** ** _—_** ** _For a good prank why not have Scarlet Witch, Pietro, and maybe Tony by having Peter be asked to grab a file or something like that but Thor's hammer is on top of it. Peter tries everything to get the file out from under the hammer until he decides to pick it up and actually lifts up Thor's hammer. He even makes some fake hammer attacks while holding it before putting it back down. Tony, Wanda, and Pietro are sitting around the corner with their jaws on the floor wondering what just happened. What they will not know is that Peter overheard them talking this one day and decided to ask Thor if he wanted to mess with them a little which Thor agrees to allowing Peter pick up his hammer._**

 ** _ME—_** ** _OMG I LUV BOTH OF YOUR IDEAS SO I AM THINKING OF MIXING THEM TOGETHER LIKE MAYBE AFTER SPENDING SO MUCH TIME TRYING TO FIND THAT ONE FILE HE ENDS UP FINDING IT ON THE COUNTER UNDER THOR'S HAMMER._**

 ** _spiderman1fan_** **** ** _\- 1. Ultron comes back and more powerful than before and it's going to take the avengers, the red team, and other heroes to stop him._**

 ** _2\. Loki creates his own anti-avengers team._**

 ** _3\. Thanos comes to Earth._**

 ** _ME—_** ** _I LIKE ALL OF YOUR IDEAS BUT I WOULD HAVE TO GO WITH THE SECOND SINCE I COULD TOTALLY PUT IT INTO MY STORYLINE WITHOUT CHANGING ANY PLANS, AND BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THANOS AND THAT GOT ME THINKING "WHAT IF PETER PARKER MET PETER QUILL?"… I ALSO CHOOSE SECOND BECUZ I HAVE THIS_** ** _REALLY HUGE SPOILER/PLOT TWIST WHICH I HAVE BEEN DYING FOR SOMONE TO ASK TO SPOIL SOMETHING_** ** _. I MEAN SERIOUSLY… IT'S SO BIG IT MAKES BLACK CAT JEALOUS AND MAKES SPIDER-MAN START FREAKING OUT ABOUT A SPIDERS MATING SEASON…_**

 ** _DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING MARVEL HERE..._**

 ** _OKAY LET'S START._**

 ** _CHAPTER 5: BLOOPER AMERICA... THE FIRST BLOOPER (OF THIS STORY)_**

 ** _FROM CHAPTER 1_**

Felicia stopped walking and turned to look at the cemetery where her father was buried. She moved her hair out of her face only to have it smack her back when the wind blew, causing a few crew members to snicker. Felicia gagged furiously tried to blow the hair from her face while disturbing the silence.

"CAN YOU NOT!" Peter said, snapping his head back to Felicia from the grave he was staring at, and giving her the death glare until he burst out laughing at the sight of the woman being chocked by her own hair.

Felicia followed Peter as he walked into the store without noticing her presence. She wasn't stalking him, just... seeing what he was up to... while figuring out a way for him to notice her... _I feel like an idiot. I've never even been here!_

Felicia noticed that Peter had been standing in front of the rice aisle for quite some time. He picked out a box, stared at it for five seconds, and fell on his knees, sniffling. Felicia and the film crew slyly slid their ways towards Peter and facepalmed. The box he picked up had read, 'Uncle Ben's Brown Rice :TO DIE FOR! (- _and a thumbs up-)'._

 ** _FROM CHAPTER 2_**

"Hey there, name's Felicia Hardy. And of course, you are Peter Parker." Felicia stated, extending her hand even as Peter eyed her suspiciously.

"How the fuck do you know me? Also, HI FELICIA. AND BYE FELICIA." Peter as he gave an imaginary hair whip and turned on his feet, thot walking away as the crew members laughed.

"D.D.!" Deadpool cried in excitment, jumping on Daredevil's feet.

"What?!"

"WE NEED A NEW MEMBER! SOMEONE WHO CAN BRING US TOGETHER! LET'S ADOPT-"

"FUCK NO. We are in no way dating, and I-"

"WOAH! I WASN'T GONNA SAY THAT! Unless that's what you want..." Deadpool suggested, wiggling his eyebrows so flirtylicious that even the oblivious Peter Parker would get the hint. Daredevil paused for ten seconds before sprinting away as fast as he could run.

 ** _FROM CHAPTER 3_**

" _Tony."_ Tony felt a small poke on his shoulder.

" _Toooooony."_ Two more pokes followed. The voice grew louder.

"TONY THERE ARE TWO DRUNK WOMEN TURNT LESBIANS MAKING OUT WITH PEPPER AND A CHICK NAMED GINGER WHO HAS A BUNCH OF BEER WAITING FOR YOU WHILE A WOMAN NAMED BOOZE IS VIDEO TAPING ALL THE PARTS YOU MISSED! ALSO, THEY WANT YOU SO BAD THAT THEY'RE PLANNING ON MAKING OUT WITH JARVIS IN YOUR SUIT!" Tony's eyes immediately shot open.

"TAKE ME BITCHES!" He shouted. But Tony stopped and looked around.

"Liar."

"Hey, you know what we would have called you if YOU had gotten the super serum instead of Cap?" Peter ask Bruce.

"No, what?"

Peter came incredibly close to his ear and whispered, "the Star Spangled Banner..."

 ** _CHAPTER 4_**

"Hey Spidey!" Peter turned around and saw a crazy hot woman with blond hair so light that it would have looked silver to any normal person. She wore an intensely tight cat suit that showed all the right curves, with white fur on the back of her long black boots and gloves and the same fur lining her long V-neck cat-suit that was zipped down so low that you would wonder when the whole suit would snap. "Hey, your ass looks sooo much better than it does on TV by the way hun." Spider-Man ignored the last word and the purr in the woman's voice as he eyed her with suspicion.

"WHY THANKS BEAUTIFUL! ALL IT TOOK WAS A BITE!" (get it? spider bite?"

Black Cat looked at him oddly. "Umm… Are you like… gay or something? ** _(No offence to gays actually, I support :D tbh I think gay couples are adorable)_** "

"Spidey frowned under his mask and held his hand on his chest. "Uh, excuse me, so what if I am? Not too bad yourself by the way _hun_."

The film crew snickered as Black Cat mumbled a "nevermind" and flipped away, not bothering to show off her moons.

"That'll keep her away." Spider-Man mumbled.

Peter scanned his mind for anyone fitting the new burglar's profile, but before coming up with an answer, he shrieked as he was pulled into a building and thrown onto a chair, which he now sat on.

Peter looked around the dark room, but couldn't find a thing, that was until a bright light clicked on in front of him. He could see the faint figure of a woman sitting opposite of him with a flashlight and a clipboard.

"I am, I would like to ask you questions." She said, Peter gulped.

Silence fell on the two.

…..

…..

"RAPE! RAPE! SOMEBODY HELP ME THIS WOMAN LOCKED ME IN HERE HEEEEEEELLLLPPP!" Peter shouted from the chair.

 _*bing_ *, came Tony's ringtone. The billionaire picked up the phone and read Pepper's message.

 **"Got a new assistant!"** Tony texted back.

 _ **"Cool. Is she cute?"**_

 _*bing*_

 **"He's a guy Tony."**

 _ **"Is he cute?"**_

 _*bing*_

 **"TONY!"**

 ** _"_** ** _HE IS ISN'T HE!"_**

 _*bing*_

 **"** **You are a sad little man."**

 ** _"_** ** _A sad little drunk playboy genius man."_**

When the doors opened Peter paused for a moment to see where everyone was. Fortunately, everybody was on the couch with their backs facing Peter. Unfortunately, the volume was set low because a few people had complained once to Tony. Fortunately, Peter was light and quiet.

Yes, everybody failed to notice the tall stick figure tip toeing in the back of them, they were too busy watching Mean Girls. Peter grabbed the green file and went back.

Before placing his second foot in the elevator, Peter purposely banged his foot against the tile floor to catch everyone's attention.

Pietro immediately ran towards the elevator, where he caught a glimpse of a tall and skinny teenager with large brown eyes and brown hair.

Right before the elevator doors slammed shut, the kid shouted, "MY NAME JEFF!" before Pietro crashed against them.

"What was that?" Asked Steve and Sam in unison.

"Some guy named Jeff took off with a green folder."

 ** _OKAY SO HERE YOU GO… SORRY THE BLOOPS ARE SHORT… AGAIN, IT'S KINDA HARD MAKING THEM FUNNY AFTER THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THIS WHOLE TIME. MAYBE I SHOULD PUT BLOOPERS EVERY TEN CHAPTERS… YEAH, I'LL PROBABLY DO THAT._**

 ** _BY THE WAY, YA'LL ARE STILL FREE TO SUGGEST PRANKS BECUZ THE NEXT CHAPTER IS CALLED "HOW TO PRANK A PETER". IT'S NOT JUST PRANKING THO, THERE IS GOING TO BE MORE BLACK CAT, AND THE AVENGERS ARE PLANNING TO HAVE A TALK WITH SPIDEY THE DAY HE PUT THE (FOR EVERYONE BUT STARK) UNBREAKABLE COLLAR ON PETER, IT'S ALSO THE SAME DAY RED TEAM STRUGGLE TO TAKE IT OFF OF HIM…_**

 ** _AND AGAIN… ANY SPOILER QUESTIONS? I ALREADY WRITE CHAPTERS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE NEAR SIXTIES LOL… AND AS FOR THE PLOT TWIST… I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT FOR DAYS…_**

 ** _HAVE FUN!_**


	6. PRANK-A-PARKER AND A STEVE LOOK-A-LIKE?

_**HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY…. SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER LOL I CAN'T BLAME IT ON HW CUZ I FINNISH THOSE IN THREE HOURS AT MOST. AND I CAN'T BLAME IT ON BEING DEPRESSED BECUZ THAT JUST HAPPENED LAST WEEK… YEAH….DON'T WORRY CUZ IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH**_

 _ **FROM Zboy2: Please let Peter be in control of venom cuz he'll be stronger you can say – write that Madame Web gave it to Peter like in the game.**_

 _ **REPLY: I WILL ADD VENOM BUT I WAS HOPING THAT PETER WOULDN'T BE IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF VENOM. AND AS MUCH AS THE MADAME WEB IDEA SOUNDS INTERESTING, I ALREADY PLANNED A WAY FOR VENOM TO APPEAR. THANKS FOR THE OFFER THO! I APPRECIATE IT :D**_

 _ **OH YEAH U GUYS, I AM HAVING PETER AND JOHNNY MEET THIS CHAPTER.**_

 _ **LOL I TOLD MYSELF I WAS GOING TO UPDATE ABOUT A WEEK AGO… THIS IS WHY I DON'T GIVE MYSELF DEADLINES, BECUZ IT'S ME AND I CAN PROCRASTINATE AS LONG AS I FEEL LIKE IT.**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT AND PROBABLY WON'T EVER OWN MARVEL…**_

 _ **OKAY LET US START. BUT CAN I JUST SAY THIS WILL BE A LONG ASS CHAPTER?**_

 _ **CHAPTER 6: PRANK A PARKER… AND A STEVE LOOK-A-LIKE?**_

 _ **A FEW HOURS AFTER TONY SLAPPED A TECHY COLLAR ON PETER…**_

 _ **TONY'S P.O.V.**_

Tony Stark, deciding to finally stop avoiding Fury's orders, was flying around New York in search of the vigilante known as Spider-Man. When the billionaire caught sight of the vigilante, a certain mercenary, and a devil on a building, he flew over to them.

As he came closer, he could see Daredevil laughing on the ground and Deadpool with his hands around the spider hero's neck. Tony landed on the surface with a clank and walked over to them.

"Hey, no choking your fellow bugs please— where did you get that?" Tony asked when he noticed Deapool failing to rip off something familiar, red, and gold off of Spider-Man's neck. Spider-Man finally noticed the billionaire and began to freak.

"UHWAH- I- WELL- YOU SEE UH—"

"Some kid running around town with a collar round his neck asked Spidey to get it off and when he did I smacked it on him!" Interrupted Deadpool, with the largest grin known to mankind showing through his mask.

"Right…" _Of course that happened, only Deadpool…_

"GLAD YOU AGREE CHUCKLES!" The mercenary shouted before continuing to pull on the collar, then he heard a crack. A LARGE crack, directed to Spider-Man.

"OHNOOHNOOHNO! I KILLED SPIDER-MAN! EVERYBODY STOP! I KILLED SPIDEYYYY!" Deapool screamed, swinging the vigilante around like a doll until hearing another crack.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHY AM I STILL SHAKING HIM!?"Another crack sounded, this time directed to Deadpool. Spider-Man hovered over the mercenary with a raised hand and a deadly look, if looks could kill then Deadpool's wish would be granted.

"I'M NOT DEAD YOU ASS! YOU CRACK MY NECK AND BACK AND IT FREAKING HURTS!"

"This is the first time I've ever been ignored successfully." Tony butted in, annoyed by the lack of attention he got.

"Oh, hey, forgot about you." Spider-Man said, even with the mask Tony could tell the vigilante was smiling.

"Har har." He replied, rolling his eyes.

"Oi! A little help Oh Mighty Tech Master other than me? I can't see where I got the collar off the kid." Spider-Man asked Tony as Daredevil began to get up.

"Alright then."

"Wait… seriously? No catch?"

"Well… Now that you mention it, I was gonna try this one thing on that one kid… but seeing how you got good hearing and shit this will be a hundred times better."

Iron Man clicked a little button out of nowhere and a tiny flap on the collar opened to reveal a tiny device. Spider-Man stayed still.

"What does it—" Before Spider-Man could finish his question, the tiny device blew out the Iron Man theme song at full volume. "—AACK!" Screamed Spider-Man and Daredevil simultaneously, dropping to the floor as the billionaire cracked up.

Tony lifted his mask plate and wiped an imaginary tear, "Ahh, always funnier when it's not me."

"We'll see about that Bruno Mars." Muttered the vigilante.

"Yeah, whatever, I'm already a billionaire so… no point in singing 'bout how much I want to be myself. Actually, that doesn't sound like a good idea now that I think about it." _I wanna be a Tony Stark, so freaking baaad… buying twice the things I'll always have…_

 _ **IN THE AVENGERS TOWER… NO ONE'S POV**_

"Pick up a beige file in Tony's lab." Pepper demanded, her eyes glued to the computer screen as she furiously typed with blazing speed.

"Uh, what?" Peter replied.

"Beige file, Tony's lab, bring here, ASAP."

"R-Right Pepper!" Said the teen as he ran towards the elevator.

 _*ding*_

Peter walked out of the elevator and began walking towards where he assumed was the billionaire's lab, thanks to the large golden and red sign reading "TONY'S LAB. DO NOT BOTHER." In bold.

Little did Peter know that Peitro and Sam were sitting on the couch in the main room along with the other Avengers, listening for what would happen next.

Pietro was about to take a sip of his coke when the delightful sound of a, "WHAT THE HELL!" shouted from Tony's lab.

A few moments past and Sam and the Speedster high-fived from their seats once Peter walked back into the elevator with a twitching brow, a beige file, and all his clothes covered in purple paint. Pietro scowled.

"What?" Sam asked, "We got him."

"No! Zat vasn't us! Our paint vas blue! Someone switched it! WE DID NOT GET HIM!" The pair looked back to the couch in horror right as Clint and Natasha high-fived.

"Oh it iz on…" Pietro said when Peter left.

"So fucking on." Muttered Sam.

"Good luck bitches." Replied Tasha and Clint in unison.

"You vish, me and Vision vill take you oll down." Wanda intruded with her thick accent.

"So…" Tony started, "Capsicle… you and me?"

"That leaves Bruce with Thor then." The Cap concluded.

"I am not taking a part in this you guys." Countered the scientist.

"BUT WHO SHALL DO THE ONING WITH ME?"

"Oning?" Clint asked.

"He means pranking. You could go with Ant-Man?" Suggested Tony, "I heard he decided to join."

 _TEAMS-_

 _BLACK HAWKS: 1 (CLINT AND NAT)_

 _SPEEDING FALCONS: 0 (PIETRO AND SAM)_

 _RED VISIONARIES: 0 (WANDA AND VISION)_

 _IRON PATRIOTS: 0 (STEVE AND TONY)_

 _THUNDER ANTS: 0 (THOR AND SCOTT)_

 _BRUCE: 0 (BRUCE)_

* * *

Pepper was wondering why Peter had come late. Was he trying to test her patience? The ginger was just about ready to call the teen when the beige file she requested was plopped onto her desk.

"Peter, what took you so lo-"Pepper gasped at the purple blob staring down at her, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU? Are you alright? UGH! I AM GOING TO KILL THEM!" But Peter just tilted his head to the side and smiled.

"I've had worse." He said.

"NO. You are coming with me to the Avenger's floor so they can apologize and you can get clean."

"It's fine Pep- Woah! Hey hold on a sec!" Peter's protests were fruitless as Pepper continued to drag him by the arm.

* * *

"Sir," JARVIS started, "Pepper has just arrived with—"

"WHICH ONE OF YOU DID THIS?!" The team immediately pointed towards Clint's vent, not wanting to point towards Black Widow's room. Pepper trudged towards the vent, Peter in tow.

"CLINT! GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT DUSTY VENT RIGHT NOW."

"CLINT ISN'T HERE." The vent shouted. "AND THE HANDSOME ARCHER CLEANS IT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!"

"UGH." She turned to Peter with an apologetic look. "Sorry Peter, there is a bathroom down the hall somewhere. You can use that to clean yourself up while I have somebody bring a change of clothes. After that you can go ahead and take the day off." The teen left down the hall and Pepper looked towards Pietro, who was slowly inching towards his room.

"Pietro, get him some clothes."

"Why me?!"

"Because, besides Vision, you and Wanda are the youngest members here and I'm sure that nobody here wants to see a teenage boy in booty-shorts, crop-tops, and leather boots." Everybody shuddered.

"But the only clothes zat aren't specially made for me are sleeveless shirts and Nike wear! AND THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE!"

"You live with a billionaire, I'm sure Tony will give you enough money to get another set." Pepper hinted towards her boyfriend.

"Do I get a say in this?"

"NO!" Shouted the two.

Pepper gave Pietro the death glare. "You are going to lend your clothes to Peter. And YOU," She said, pointing to the billionaire, "are going to give Pietro the money to buy something to make up for it."

"Fine zen."

"Whatever."

"Good. When Clint decides to 'come back', then tell him that as punish he should go patrolling for Spider-Man like you ALL should be doing right now." Pepper left with that and walked into the elevator.

 _ **PETER'S POV _**_

It was a good thing that Peter had worn his suit underneath his clothes, the bad thing was that Peter had worn his suit under his clothes… and now he has to take them off. _There better not be any cameras._ Peter thought as he stripped himself of the purple mess, which had fortunately shielded the suit. Peter stuffed the spandex into his now purple bag and hopped into the shower.

"So many buttons…" Peter said, pressing the one closest to what he thought looked like hot water. It was not.

"COLD! TOO COLD!" The teen stuck to the ceiling and smacked all the buttons until realizing… purple button= warm water. _WHAT'S WITH ALL THE PURPLE?!_ He thought. Someone snickered in the living room. _Did I just say that out loud?_

"Yes, you did!" Pietro answered from the other side.

"Oh!" He yelled back through the running water. "What are you doing there anyways?"

"Thought you needed new look." _That accent is so thick it seems fake._

"Hah! It iz real my friend." _I should really stop saying things on my mind… bad habit._

"That, you should. Next thing you know you'll be voicing the porn in your head." Peter went red.

"I-I don't."

"Just joking." Peter heard him say before Pietro speeded away.

A few minutes later Peter pushed away the shower curtains and wiped himself off before staring at the clothes. The camo shorts were fine for Peter, knee length and a few useless pockets here and there but fine nonetheless. There were no need for new shoes, Peter's didn't get so much paint on his sneakers anyways. But the top, NO. It was fitting, blue, had a pocket at the bottom, a hood, and was sleeveless. No, Peter didn't need that. Peter did NOT need sexy, awesome, probably expensive, cool clothes. Never in his life had Peter ever worn something other than his Spidey suit that showed his non-spaghetti arms. People did not need to know that Peter Parker was hot….

Until now.

 _ **NO ONE'S POV _**_

"You gave Peter a sleeveless top? Have you seen him? I mean no offence but," Sam whispered closer to Pietro, "he's basically spaghetti."

"I KNOW!" Pietro laughed, "But tis not funny when one wears a sleeveless with long gangly limbs?" The Avengers, minus Steve and Bruce, laughed. Then Peter walked into the room and their mouths went dry.

"I take it back, those ain't even close to spaghetti."

"Those not gangly." Yep, that shirt made it clear to everyone that Peter was indeed smexy. And by smexy I mean HOT. REALLY HOT. Yeah, Peter was tall, and had long limbs, but now that they showed, you could tell that they were NOT skinny. Those missing sleeves had revealed a pair of tense muscles that you would see on a male gymnast and soccer player mix, and the dip of the shirt collar had finally shown that mouthwatering neck that would usually be covered up by Peter's insane layers of clothing.

 _ **CAN I JUST SAY THAT ANDREW GARFIELD'S ADAMS APPLE IS SO SMEXY IT LOOKS EDIBLE? SORRY BOYZ BUT I GOT A THING FOR SEXY NECKS…YEAH…-LUXY**_

Peter coughed awkwardly at everyone's stares, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Where'd you get the scars?" Asked Hawkeye, who had spotted a bunch of fading ones around Peter's arms and legs. _Yeah, note to self to never attempt running through barbed wires._

"You thought running through barbed wires would be a good idea?" Cap asked.

"Meh, one doesn't think often after being chased for a while."

"Chased? By who?"

"Oh you know, the high school bullies. Normally I'd take a punch or twenty before they stop, but I had to buy eggs and I was hoping to catch the store before it closed." Peter answered, smirking. Steve frowned and sunk back into the couch, obviously disliking the fact that there were still muggers and bullies out there.

"So," Peter started, "anything else before I leave ya'll?"

"Actually yes," Tony said, "I know tomorrow is your day off and all, but Steve and I want you to meet someone so come by around 9:30 and we can meet up and shtuff."

"Oh. Alright. See you around then." Peter said before parting.

* * *

Peter hustled through the New York crowd, hearing a few "watch it"s and "hey handsome"s here and there. Peter was completely fine being a complete nobody in the crowd, but stupid Pietro just HAD to give him a sleeveless.

"Hey cutie, haven't seen you around here."

"Really? Because I happen to walk around here every day like everyone else." _God, who knew hookers could get annoying?_ Thought Peter as he continued to walk away.

"Peter?" _Oh for the love of God, who is it now? I DO NOT need an Aunt May wondering when and how her nephew suddenly grew muscles._ Peter turned around.

"Liz Allen?"

"Oh good! You remember me!"

"Yep." How could he not? It's not like you could just forget that one high school crush that completely ignored you until finding out you could take pictures for her boyfriend.

"It's been a while, and it looks like your fashion sense seems more… fitting now."

Liz had only seen Peter's body once before now, on the day that she and a few others found that Parker was more than what you'd expect from a high school loser.

 _ **FLASHBACK LIZ POV…**_

 _Liz Allen was the epitome of a popular high school girl. She had many friends and followers, a hot boyfriend, okay grades, a proud and rich ass family, good looks, and one secret rival._

 _She was currently in Calculus (she was placed there accidentally, but it wasn't like she couldn't find ways to copy) sitting in her desk in the back of the classroom and twirling her hair as the teacher was lecturing his usual boring shit. The classroom door opened and Peter Parker lazily walked to his seat next to hers, plopping head on the desk._

" _, late again I see." The teacher said._

" _Sorry." Peter breathed out, "Won't happen again." The teacher continued with his lecture. While Liz was the example of a popular girl, Peter Parker was the perfect embodiment of a high school loser. Glasses, good grades, occasional tardiness, second smartest in the school (next to Gwen Stacy), tall, thin, bullied on, no friends, you know._

" _PARKER! IF YOU THINK YOU ARE TOO SMART FOR MY CLASS THAT YOU HAVE TOO SLEEP THROUGH IT THEN BY ALL MEANS ANSWER THE PROBLEM!" The teenager slowly brought his head up and stared at the problem for five seconds before answering._

" _Negative five hundred forty-two. Sorry it took so long, don't- feel so well." Liz looked closer at Peter, he didn't look so well either. Peter's skin had paled and his eyes had become baggy, his shoulders were slumped and he was shaking, eyes unfocused under his hood. Liz then noticed a wet spot growing from Peter's side._

" _?"_

" _Yes Liz?"_

" _Peter is bleeding!" Everyone turned their attention to Peter, whose eyes had widen. walked to Peter and pulled his hood down. Everybody gasped and Peter flinched. His face was nastily bruised with cuts and scratches dominating him. The teacher sucked in his breath._

" _P-Peter what happened?"_

" _I-I um- Got mugged on my way here, put up a fight though. I can walk to the nurse's office."_

" _No, you are staying here while I call her over. Liz, help Peter out of his jacket and help him to the floor." Liz got up from her seat and held her breath while peeling off the soaked jacket and slowly brought him to the ground. The nurse arrived._

" _Alright, everybody except Liz back away and give him space, I am going to inspect the damage."_

" _Ngh, don't." Peter groaned when the nurse attempted to pull off his shirt._

" _I can't help you if you won't show me Peter." Peter paused as if thinking before he hesitantly nodded and Liz helped the nursed to get the top off._

" _OH. MY. GOD." Liz gasped along with everyone else. Nobody was sure whether to be surprised at all the bruises and cuts and that one gaping wound at the side of Peter, or the fact the Puny Parker wasn't Puny._

" _Kuh! Shit shit shit!" Peter shouted as the nursed pushed on Peter's side._

" _It's a stab wound."_

 _ **PRESENT**_

Ever since that day Liz kept staring at Peter's shirt wondering what he would look like without all of those scars. And right now, that shirt is giving her a pretty good idea of what's under…

"Well, I still wear the same style actually. Some people where I work decided to play a prank on me and I had to borrow their clothes."

"You want to take them off? Find something else to put on maybe?" Liz hinted.

"No, not really, I'll just change when I get home." _God he's so dense it kills me._

"Hey Peter!" _Oh no._

The two turned to look at the newcomer, whose platinum blond hair swayed in the wind as she took confident strides towards them. Felicia Hardy, aka Liz Allen's secret enemy, aka the only girl who wasn't afraid to steal whatever guy Liz was talking to.

"Hey Felicia." Peter replied.

"You're dressed a lot differently from when I saw you last week. Oh, and I met your Aunt, she's very sweet, told me you got a job at SI. Congrats!" Peter smiled sheepishly. Felicia smirked, Liz scowled.

"Uh, yeah, they pulled a prank on me today. I ended up covered in purple paint and borrowing Pietro's clothes because Pepper forced him too, Tony's paying him back though."

"Aren't Tony and Pietro Avengers?" Felicia asked.

"Yup." This caught Liz's attention.

"YOU MET THE AVENGERS?"

"Yeah, they're a funny bunch. Thor's kinda loud. Oh yeah! Felicia, this is Liz Allen! Liz, this is Felicia Hardy."

"We know each other," The blond said, "do you mind leaving us to talk Pete? You probably want to change out of that anyways so you can leave us while we catch up on things."

"Sure, later!"

"Bye!" Felicia said with an innocent smile. When Peter was out of sight, Felicia's face turned serious.

"Back the fuck off Liz, he's mine."

"Excuse me? I've had a longer crush on him than you, Felicia."

"That may be true, but you only noticed him when you found out he was hot. I didn't have to realize that."

Liz was taken aback, "Peter isn't yours Felicia."

"Yeah, I think he is." With that, Felicia left Liz.

 _ **GOODNIGHT… OR IS IT A BAD NIGHT? NO ONE'S POV**_

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is said to arrive right when the trouble starts. In this case, the trouble was outside of the Museum of Modern Arts (MOMA). The vigilante swung down to a nearby cop.

"Where'd he go?"

"Went that direction," the cop replied, pointing to an alley, "We aren't sure if this person actually stole something. We suspect that this could be the same person trying to get your attention since you left. However, he did take a few things to catch our attention before your appearance."

"Were they valuable?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then, he certainly got my attention. What's he look like?"

"Nobody knows, we've only found him to be a cat burglar."

"Okay." The vigilante shot a web and swung off into the direction where the cop pointed.

He circled around a few times before figuring that this person had decided to hide and try again another time. The vigilante stopped at the top of a building.

"Hey Spidey." Spider-Man recognized that purr almost instantly, he turned around, finding a familiar face perching above him with blue eyes carefully scanning him. Her silvery hair flowed past her shoulders like a river in the moonlight as she bent forward, arms between her legs, and the zipper of her cat suit was pulled a little higher this time.

"Black Cat."

"Glad you remember me baby." The feline said, licking her glossy red lips.

"How could I not? It's not every day a crazy cat lady decides to kiss me."

"Oh really?" Black Cat asked, half-laughing, "After being missing for so long and finally coming back for some weird reason, I could imagine that boring ass news reporter April O'neil to be shoving her hands down your pants. You know, considering your certain… parts, I would have never expected a white boy behind the spandex."

"You don't seem to be disappointed."

"Oh, I'm not baby." She hummed, jumping down from her previous position and walking past the vigilante's personal bubble. Spider-Man tensed.

"Mmn, you seem nervous."

"No kidding." He breathed out.

"I bet you like this don't you?" Black Cat said, inching closer and closer.

"Do you?" He asked. The beauty smirked. She slid her fingers under his mask, slowly bringing them up, lips barely brushing against his ear.

"Very."

"Then why be a villain?"

"Maybe I'm doing this… for you."

"Then I guess I'll have to stop you and find out who's behind the mask." The feline's eyes narrowed, but she smirked nonetheless.

"Not if you can catch me and my fine ass." Black Cat bent down and swiped her leg under Spider-Man, who had seen it coming and dodged. The burglar took this moment to sprint away as the vigilante ran after her.

The two jumped from building to building at unusual speeds, a camera had caught the two and now all the screens in Time Square were showing the same picture of Spider-Man chasing Black Cat, with pink and red borders and hearts surrounding them, and the large question, " _SPIDEY'S GIRLFRIEND?"_

"You've got to be kidding me." The vigilante mumbled.

"I THINK IT'S KINDA CUTE!" The feline shouted back, her heels making *click* sounds while she ran.

"Whatever." Spider-Man caught up with Black Cat, not that he was struggling, because what was the fun in catching the thief without messing around? He jumped and pinned her to the ground, staring into her blue orbs for a moment. Black Cat drew her face closer to the vigilante and kissed him through the mask before slipping out of his grip while Spider-Man was processing the situation. Stopping mid-step, Black Cat turned to look at the vigilante.

"See you around!"

 _ **LE VERY NEXT DAY… PETER'S POV**_

Peter strolled into the Avenger's floor and sat in the kitchen as Tony walked in.

"Hey Tony."

"Hey," The billionaire walked up to the bar, "Want any?"

"No, I'm underage." Peter replied. Steve walked in from the hallway to the right of the teen. He was wearing a white t-shirt and sweatpants, with a towel around his neck.

"Mornin' Steve."

"Morning son." The soldier walked to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle before walking into the hallway to the left of Peter.

Tony took out a beer and began to sip. He was beginning to believe that the billionaire thinks alcohol is much more necessary than water in matters of survival.

"Sure you don't want anything?" The playboy asked. Peter shook his head.

"Nope. Water is fine though." Tony bent under the table in search for at least one fridge containing water. The teen heard footsteps coming from the hallway to the left, he turned his head to greet him/her.

"Hey Ste— what? When did you? Weren't you just? Whaaa?" Steve was different, not just personality different, looks different. While Steve was the perfect example of a good-hearted and old fashioned American with white t-shirts, light jeans, and a boy-scout hair-cut, this other Steve was a perfect example of Americans nowadays, buzz cut, skinny jeans, biker jacket, an expensive plain blue t-shirt.

"Sup, kid." The new Steve said, walking towards the fridge and pulling out a Gatorade before going into the right hallway.

"AHAH! I FOUND IT!" Tony shouted, holding up the water bottle from under the table.

"You realize you could have gotten water from the fridge Steve went to?"

"Nah, wouldn't have been dramatic."

"It wasn't dramatic."

"Whatever."

"Does Steve have a brother?"

"No."

"Or a clone?"

"Hmmm, not that I know of."

"Are you sure….?" Tony stared at Peter quizzically.

"Why do you ask?" He questioned, turning around to grab something. Just then, while Tony's back was turned, both Steve's walked from their hallways, with Peter staring disbelievingly, and high-fived at the center of the room before going to the opposite hallways. Yep, the boy was left flabbergasted.

"Tony, I may be hallucinating, but I swear I just saw two Steve's in different fashion high-fiving at the center of the room before walking off." Tony turned around.

"Did you hit your head?"

"No, but yesterday I was getting hit on by New York hookers."

"Sweet."

"So, um, when are you and Steve gunna introduce someone to me like you said?"

"You mean me and the Steve's? And chillax kid, JARVIS will inform me of his arrival. In the meantime, "Tony plopped himself onto the chair next to him, "we can do absolutely nothing, or absolutely whatever we want." The billionaire wiggled his eyebrows.

"What are you hinting at?" Tony slid a beer towards Peter who caught it.

"No Tony."

"AWW COME ONE! You sound like Pepper!"

"I AM UNDER AGE." Peter said sternly.

"One sip." Peter shook his head.

"Please?"

"No." Truth is, Peter has no idea how this could affect him, especially with sensitive senses. Daredevil had told him that they come down hard for him.

"Just one itty-bitty sip?" The teen rolled his eyes.

"Fine, a small sip."

"Good job champ!" Peter raised the glass to his lips and swallowed before pulling the bottle away and making a bitter face. Tony frowned.

"THAT AIN'T ANYTHING!"

"I AM FREAKING UNDERAGE!" Peter stopped arguing when the two Steve's walked into the room again, taking seats opposite from each other on a round white table, which Peter didn't see before. The soldiers brought their right elbows onto the table and gripped hands. They were arm wrestling, FREAKING ARM WRESTLING AT THE CENTER OF THE KITCHEN, IN FRONT OF HIM AND TONY, WHO ISN'T EVEN LOOKING.

"Are you even seeing this?!" He shouted. Tony looked at Peter, then the Steve's, then back and forth before standing up.

"I don't see anything Peter." The Steve's stopped arm wrestling.

"THEY ARE RIGHT THERE!" He said, pointing. Tony huffed and walked towards the Steve's, walking through the table and stopping in the middle of it with his arms out wide.

"THERE IS NOTHING PETER! NOTHING!" He turned in a circle, slapping the two in face, who each grunted and fell over before getting up and walking away.

Peter was going crazy, "BUT YOU JUST! AND THEN THEY! Ugh." Peter was getting dizzy as he fell off his chair and onto the ground. Tony looked at his hands, now red and swollen.

"Ouch. Never decide to slap a cap." He said before Peter's world went black.

* * *

Peter's eyes slowly opened to see what you would expect in most movies. Three people staring down at the character with worried faces. In Peter's case, Tony was staring at him from the middle and both Steve's were staring from the sides. Peter freaked out on the three and, on reflex, immediately punched the two blonds, holding back his strength though. Both men flew back.

"Ow! Fucking shit! That fucking hurts! Aww MY FUCKING NOSE!" Shouted the new Steve.

The old Steve groaned in pain before sitting up and commenting, "You've got quite a punch Peter."

"SEE TONY! I AM NOT CRAZY!"

"Chill dude! Just a prank!"

Peter looked towards the new Steve, then back to Tony. "Who is tha—"

"Sir, has just arrived."

 _BLACK HAWKS: 1_

 _SPEEDING FALCONS: 0_

 _RED VISIONARIES: 0_

 _IRON PATRIOTS(ON FIRE): 1_

 _THUNDER ANTS: 0_

 _BRUCE: 0_

 _ **OKAY I AM SERIOUSLY GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A CHAPTER 6 PART 2….. I STILL TAKE PRANKS…. ALSO, THAT WON'T BE THE LAST WE SEE OF STEVE NUMBER 2… AKA JOHNNY. AND IF YOU ARE WONDERING "HOW THE HELL WAS TONY ABLE TO WALK THROUGH THE TABLE?", THE TABLE WAS A HOLOGRAM SO STEVE AND JOHNNY HAD TO HOLD A SITTING POSITION FOR QUITE SOME TIME… GOOD THING TONY WHACKED THEM OUT OF THEIR MISERY LOL I AM EVIL… ;P OKAY MAYBE NOT SO MUCH…**_

 _ **TOODLEZZZZZZZ**_


	7. I AM SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

_**HEY GUYS! UGH, I AM SO SORRY. I HAVE BEEN SO DISTRCTED LATELY AND I KEPT PROCRASTINATING MY CHAPTER PLANNING :( I WAS ALSO WRITING A HALLOWEEN CHAPTER BUT AS U CAN SEE THAT HAS ALREADY PASSED BUT I STILL WANNA POST ONE SO IMMA DO A PREVIEW OF THAT HORROR CHAPTER AS A SORRY GIFT…. YEAH… THE HALLOWEEN STORIES WILL EVENTUALLY BE PUT IN A CHAPTER… IM GUNNA START NOW.**_

 _ **[This is basically a spoiler/preview of one of my chapters for later on so…]**_

 _ **MATT'S POV**_

 _ **Theme: The price for your wish has yet to be granted… guess what was taken, guess what was wished, and there will be two chapters by Christmas day… bitch. (This is why I was never good at writing songs….. le rhymes)**_

Darkness. That's the first thing I "saw" when my eyes opened. Not the usual. There was no red. There was no _fire._

 _Thump thump…_

I bounce up at the noise. But where is up? Where is down? Where am _**I**_?

 _Thump thump…_

Sometimes I wish I were an ordinary man. No more being blind. No more having to rely on all of my other senses. Sometimes I wish I saw things like _anybody else would._

 _Thump thump…._

Goddammit! There it is again. I remain alone, trying to focus on the sound. For that is the only thing I can do.

 _Thump thump…._

I could have sworn I saw something. Unusual, yes, but true. It was dark. Darker than the darkness that surrounds me. _But is there anything darker than darkness itself?_

 _Thump thump…_

The sound has grown louder. Why can't I focus? I hear nothing. An unsettling kind of nothing…

 _Thump thump…_

Except for that. Again, where am I? I cannot think. There is no saying how the darkness may consume me. _There is a chance it already has._

 _Thump…Thump…_

A flash of red light all around me and now I am able to see, literally. I am looking down at my hands. My bloodied hands… Kneeling on white tiles.

 _Thump… Thump…._

Another flash of red and this time at the corners of my eyes.

 _Thump thump…_

Correction about the floors. The tiles _**were**_ white, I realize.

 _Thump thump…_

My hands are shaking. My hands are shaking and I do not know why… But even if I did know, _I wouldn't want to._

 _Thump thump…_

I'm laughing, and it isn't because I am happy. My eyes, uncontrolled and wide, remain unfocused.

 _Thump thump…_

This isn't what I wanted to see. I dreamt of looking up at blue skies. But no. I am staring down at a pool of thick red blood, a picture of hell revealed through the liquid… And I smile.

 _Thump thump…_

I hear a faint gasp and a choke. My head immediately whips towards the sound, bringing me face to face with Peter.

 _Thump thump…_

Peter looks horrible. The bags around his hazel brown eyes are red and swollen, and he crouches frozen yet shaking in a corner as those eyes dart from me to the person I find myself hovering over. I look down.

 _Thump._

Foggy. No, not like the fog one would see, or in my case feel, in the morning. Foggy Nelson, my best pal and partner who's been with me forever.

 _Thump thump…_

Until now.

 _THUMP._

My heart skips a beat and I glance back a Peter. I push myself off the ground, my body sways and twitches as the clickity-clack if my heels slowly make its way towards the teen. He is crouching on the floor, at the corner of the corner of the room, staring back at me with mixed feelings of fear, anger, pity, disappointment… guilt.

 _Thump…_

My lips split into a grin, "Poor Peter, everybody you know and love dies by the hand of somebody else, and you find it in your heart to blame nobody but yourself." Peter tenses, he knows it's true. Even if he saw the whole world perish, the teen would blame himself for not being able to help.

 _Thump_

My hands itch to grab something, _choke it._ _ **Kill, kill, kill.**_

 _Thump_

Before I can lay a hand on Peter, there is a mirror by him and I find myself staring at my own reflection. I do not like what I see, but at the same time, _I do._

 _Thump_

Peter shrieks as my slick fingers take possession of his neck.

 _Thump_

My smile falters as the boy pushes himself up.

 _Thump_

He swipes me from under.

 _Thump thump_

That's right.

 _Thump thump_

Despite his physical appearance, Peter is stronger than Wade and I combined.

 _ **Thump**_

Wade…

 _Thump thump_

The guy ditched us and here he comes for Peter.

 _Thu-Ump_

It's no surprise, however.

 _Thump_

Wade absolutely _loves_ Peter.

 _Thump_

Well… Peter _and_ his alter ego.

 _Thump thump_

The mirror shatters.

 _Thump thump_

Wade's reflection shows only through the remnants of the broken mirror.

 _Thump_

His eyes wander from Peter's bruised neck…

To Foggy…

To me.

 _Buddump_

A flash of red and now the moments that follow are inaudible… _this is the first time I actually wish for sound._

 _Buddup_

Wade is furiously shouting at Peter.

 _Thump_

Probably telling the younger to run.

 _Thump thump_

And he does.

 **SO… IT STARTED OFF PRETTY COOL AND I THINK I RUINED IT AT THE END. IF YOU GUESS WHAT WAS WISHED AND WHAT THE CONSEQUENCE WAS THEN YA'LL GET TWO CHAPTERS FOR CHRISTMAS(IN CALIFORNIA TIMEEEEEE). IF YOU DON'T THEN I WILL JUST GIVE YOU ONE. IF IM REALLY NICE AND NOT AS DISTRACTED BY LIFE, SCHOOL, HW, DANCE, BOYFRIEND, WRESTLING, AND SHIT LIKE THAT THEN YEAH, I MAY GIVE U AN EXTRA CHAPTER.**

 **TOODLES!**

 **-LUXY**


	8. PRANK A PARKER 2(HELLA SHORT SORRY -LUX)

_**HEY GUYS…(MASSIVE GUILT TOWERING OVER MY HEAD) I HAVE FINALLY BUILT UP THE STRENGTH TO CONTINUE THIS STORY SINCE ITS BEEN ALMOST A YEAR OR LESS… SORRY… UGH LOL LEMME RANT FOR A MINUTE( YOU CAN SKIP IF YOU WANT). HONESLTY I HAVE BEEN PRETTY BUSY BUT I NO LONGER HAVE 4.0 AND MY DAD IS KINDA MAD ABOUT THAT(THEY ARE ACCEPTABLE AT LEAST?). I WOULD BE PROUD BECAUSE I HAVE THREE A'S AND THREE B'S AND THAT'S BETTER THAN MOST OF THE SCHOOL. MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO THE ARMY IN AUGUST AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT HIM BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS AND MY BEST FRIEND DOESN'T ACT LIKE A BEST FRIEND AND TOLD ME SHE WAS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT AND EXPECTS ME TO BE HAPPY (I PRETENDED LIKE I WAS) BUT I GOT HER A 60 DOLLAR BRACELET FROM MACY'S EVEN BEFORE WE WERE BEST FRIENDS AND SHE ALWAYS GUILT TRIPS ME ABOUT HAVING A BOYFRIEND AND HOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO THIRD WHEELING WHEN MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN ABOUT THIRD WHEELING FOR HER AND ALL THE FRIENDS I HAD. WHAT REALLY HURTS ME IS THAT SHE GOT SUCH CUTE GIFTS FOR HER OTHER FRIENDS AND I WAS JUST HOPING I COULD GET A CARD AT LEAST YOU KNOW? SHE DIDN'T. I WAS STILL HOPING SHE WAS PLANNING SOMETHING AT LEAST EVEN AFTER MY BIRTHDAY BUT THAT WAS ON MAY 16 AND NOW I KNOW SHE WAS DISHONEST AND MOST LIKELY FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY. BUT IN MY OPINION IF ANYONE FORGETS MY BIRTHDAY I PREFER THE TRUTH THAN A CRAPPY LIE. YOU SEE SHE GETS JEALOUS AND MAKES BIG DEALS AND I TRY REALLY HARD NOT TO SAY SOMETHING. ANYWAYS SINCE I CANT WRESTLE BECAUSE I HAVE RINGWORM(AN INFECTION NOT A WORM) AND THE GUY WHO PROMISES TO MARRY ME AFTER COLLEGE WHEN HE COMES BACK IS LEAVING TO THE ARMY FOR THREE YEARS I PROMISED TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH HIM AS POSSIBLE. RIGHT NOW HE IS AT WORK SO I HAVE SOME TIME. Hella pissed because they waitlisted me last minute for summer school cuz the fucking chemistry teacher decided not to teach anymore and only two people got in.**_

 _ **OKAY RANT FINSIHED YOU CAN COME OUT NOW :3**_

 _ **I WANT TO THANK THE PEOPLE HERE WHO HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY CRAPPY RANTS AND THEN READ MY CRAPPY WRITING THAT SOMETIME GETS DELETED FOR NO REASON WHEN I PUBLISH.**_

 _ **PRANK-A-PARKER PART 2**_

(PREVIOUSLY ON PRANK-A-PARKER)

" _chill dude it was a prank!"_

" _sir Nick Fury has arrived"_

 **PETER'S P.O.V.**

Nick Fury stepped in from the elevator and trudged up to tony holding up the latest article on the Daily Bugle.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS TONY?!" He shouted shoving the paper into Tony's face. The billionaire took the paper and read outloud.

"Sp-Spider-Man's New Girlfriend?" _Wait WHAT?!" NO. HELL NO. THIS ISNT HAPPENING WHO TOOK THAT PICTURE?!_

"Um, if I may ask…" Peter intruded, "Who took that picture? I don't think Spider-Man would be with any woman since it would increase said woman's chance of getting captured or hurt. The picture could be fake."

Fury's eyes narrowed. "Our first priority right now is to bring Spider-Man on our side. Part of that means making sure he doesn't join anything stupid." _God who is this guy to assumed things and come whenever he decides to._

"But he isn't doing anything stupid! All he was doing was chasing after some villain or somethi-"

"Boy, I suggest you leave right now unless you want to tick me off further."

Peter huffed and walked towards the elevator.

"Keep an eye on that kid Stark." He heard Fury whisper before the elevator closed.

 **NO ONE POV**

Peter was pissed off. He was fucking sick and tired of these pranks and the fucking bull crashing down on him!

"Stupid Tony and his fucking science. Stupid pirate." The teen grumbled as he rode his skateboard through the busy crowd of New York.

"I'll show him, I'm gunna whip up something so badass it'll put all his technology to— UGH!" Peter had run himself into an opening door.

He rubbed his numbing cheek and glared up at the blurry face staring down at him.

"Oi! Watch it man I was riding here!" He shouted, his vision slowly getting clearer.

"Oh shit, sorry kid." The man had a blond buzz cut and a familiar face. _Fuck, just my luck. New Steve here to the rescue._

Peter stood up and quickly checked for any injuries. Not that a door could hurt him but just to sell the part of a lame teenage skateboarder.

"No it's my fault." Peter responded. "If that door didn't hit me things could have gotten worse and I could have gotten run over for not riding safely."

Young Steve looked relieved, but held a Tony-like smirk for some reason.

"Well, not exactly," he said, "I would have caught you before you could hit the truck."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Right… Listen young Cap, just because you look like Steve Rogers doesn't mean you are him. Besides, you would have to leave the bar five minutes earlier to catch me riding into a car.

"Would I?" He laughed, grinning wider.

"Yes, you would." Peter responded once more, quite annoyed actually. This young Steve acts nothing like his Steve, in fact he was getting on his nerves.

"No I wouldn't." _God he acts like a child._

"Yes you would."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"YES."

"NO—HEY! NO FAIR!" Peter complained against being tricked.

"Haha! I win again just like always!"

"But you can't dude! It is physically impossible to get out that fast and catch someone in time without getting hurt!"

"Check again dude, physically impossible is my middle name." He said, lighting his hand on fire. It finally came to Peter's mind that he had been having a child fight with the famous Johnny Storm.

The teen's face grew hot with embarrassment. "I'll just leave now Mr. Storm." He said face down.

Peter began to ride when a warm hand grabbed his hoodie, bringing him back.

"Oh no kid, I did not prank you with Steve and Tony to then accidently hit you with a door and watch you leave. I'm a curious dude, dude, and this dude wants to know why everyone is so interested in you." And with that Peter was dragged into a nearby café.

 _ **SORRY I ENDED THIS QUICKLY I JUST WANTED YOU GUYS TO KNOW IM NOT DEAD :(**_

 _ **UGH ASDFGHH IM SO LAME SORRY YOU GUYS IM FREAKING OUT CUZ IM HELLA SENSITIVE AND IVE BEEN HIT BY DEADPOOL'S ARROW AND I FEEL SO ALONE WITHOUT MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE WE ALWAYS SEE EACHOTHER WHEN WE CAN AND HE LOVES SPOILING ME AND CALLING ME CUTE AND BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT EVEN THO I GET INSECURE AND CALL MYSELF STUPID AND UGLY AS SHIT. SO HE'S HELLA SUPPORTIVE AND EVEN HIS FRIENDS TOLD ME THAT WHEN WE FIRST MET IN THE WRESTLING TEAM HE WOULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW WEIRDLY CUTE AND ADORABLE I WAS MAKING PUNS AND LAUGHING AT THEM MYSELF LOL AND HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS SAYING BUT HE STILL THOUGHT I WAS CUTE. AND HONESTLY THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME BECAUSE I GOT BULLIED MOST OF MY LIFE AND NOBODY EVER COMPLIMENTED ME BECAUSE MY "SPOILED KID SCHOOLS" HAD KIDS WHO DON'T WATCH ANIME OR READ COMIC BOOKS AND HAD STRAIGHT A'S AND HERE I WAS WITH THE OPPOSITE. LOL IM RANTING AGAIN GOSH I SHOULD MAKE A BOOK ABOUT THIS LOL. WAIT I TOLD U GUYS ABOUT MY EX RIGHT? THE FIRST BOYFRIEND I INTRODUCED? HE NEVER ACTED LIKE A GOOD BOYFRIEND(HE WAS MY FIRST BOYFRIEND) AND HE ACTED LIKE A FRIEND. ALL WE DID WAS HOLD HANDS AKWARDLY WHILE HE SQUEEZED MY HAND FAT AND TALK ABOUT HOW HIS FOREHEAD WAS TOO BIG. MY BOYFRIEND RN(SECOND BF) I DID A LOT OF STUFF WITH LOL. (FIRST KISS, FIRST DATE, FIRST TO MEET PARENT, FIRST TO TREAT ME LIKE A PRINCESS :)….. HE'S SO CUTE LOL HE SAID HE THOUGHT I WAS A SOPHMORE CUZ MY BODY WAS MATURE AND "NO ONE COULD HAVE AN ASS THAT NICE" LOL. GOD I SOUND LIKE A LITTLE GIRL YOU GUYS DO NOT WANNA HEAR ME RANT ALL ABOUT THIS ONE GIRL WHO HURT ME SO BAD IT CHANGED ME FOR THE BETTER… YEA OKAY GN? SORRY AGAIN :(**_

 _ **NEXT CHAPTER MUCH LONGER I SWEAR**_

 _ **HEY BTW IF U GUYS HAVE AN INSTAGRAM I CAN FOLLOW FOR A FOLLOW BUT NO SCAMS YOU GUY SHOULD PROBABLY MESSAGE ME HERE THAT YOU WANT TO FOLLOW CUZ I HAVE A PRIVATE ACCOUNT AND I MIGHT DENY CREEPY ACCOUNTS :( GOTTA KEEP IT SAFE U KNOW? GOSH IVE NEVER DONE THAT LOL BUT LITTLE HEADS UP I DONT REALLY POST MARVEL OR ANIME ON INSTAGRAM JUST MY LAME LIFE U KNOW? LOL**_

 _ **I HAVE SNAPCHAT BUT I DONT FOLLOW MANY PEOPLE THER SO THATS A NO GO **_


End file.
